Wolfgirl
by grrlinterrupted
Summary: Nessie and Jake. BFFs, right? Recently, though, she's been looking at him in a new light. Something's changed and he's different. Different like hot. Bad language, lemony times and questionable music recommendations all forthcoming. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Wolfgirl was my very first attempt at fan fiction. So, take that as you will. It's very, very far from perfect, but it's a sweet story and writing it taught me so much. So regardless of the bits which make me cringe I love it. I hope you do, too.

**Chapter 1 – Nessie's POV**

I lay back on my bed, trying again to block my thoughts. I knew my parents were... busy, so this was the only real time I had to practice. I'd used up so much energy on it in the past few days, I felt totally exhausted, but one thought kept me going; one that Dad could not ever be allowed to hear. I let it swim around my mind for a second, too good to keep locked away. Jake, crouching next to his motorcycle, his cheek smudged with black grease, his hair pulled back into a messy tie, shirt tucked into the back pocket of his cut offs. His stomach clenched, his bottom lip drawn between his teeth as he tried to figure out what was wrong...

Oh, this was very far from working, and the realisation of the uselessness of it all made my eyes prick with tears. Nothing was going to change how I felt, this creeping obsession had been growing and growing for months... like an addiction. Sick. The best I could do was work out how to hide it for as long as I could. Maybe in one more birthday's time he'd find me... cute? Although who was I kidding... a half vampire – his instinctive enemy. And then there was my more pressing issue... how to hide all this from Edward. Eugh. I briefly considered running away, or drugging Dad, or joining a convent, then giggled at the ridiculousness of my ideas. At least the thought of me in a habit was lightening my mood...

'What's so funny?' Jake said, and I nearly fell off the bed in shock. He came rushing over from the window he'd jumped in through. 'Oh, Ness, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you!'

I tried to assuage his guilt. 'I'm ok, Jake, I was just concentrating, that's all.'

'Trying to conjugate Latin verbs again? Or, let's see, learning Catalan as well as Spanish?'

I swung at him half-heartedly. 'Not this time. I was trying to keep my Dad out.'

'Well, if you'd just tell him you're madly in love with me then it'd be fine, I'm sure he'd come around in three hundred years, tops.'

He was joking, but my heart was in my throat. I swallowed, trying to force the feeling back down, along with the sense of hopelessness. So me loving Jake was a joke, then? Obviously. I tried to save my pride and punched him in the stomach lightly.

'Don't be a douche. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I know it's hard for you not to. I know I need to be more understanding.'

Jake stuck his tongue out at me, and grinned. 'Let's go out.'

'Oh god I need to get away from here for a few hours. I swear if I try any harder to keep him away from my thoughts I'll start sweating with the effort. Where are we going?'

His forehead creased in thought and he bit his lip again, just like that day in the garage... My stomach tightened. 'Where'd you want to go? We could run down to the beach? I totally bought a six pack earlier in town and I could bring my stereo?'

''kay.' I grinned widely as I flitted about my room, stuffing CDs, matches and a sweater into my backpack and slinging it onto my shoulder. Jacob's height and build was very helpful in our teenage efforts at debauchery. The store clerks were probably too afraid to ask him for money, let alone ID. I chuckled.

'What?'

'I was just imagining you growling at the poor cashiers as they handed you the beers while peeing themselves.'

'Actually, I was very polite. Honestly, listen to you and you'd think I was a delinquent!'

'That's a very long word.'

'Nessie Cullen. You are skating on very thin ice. One more comment like that and I'll be keeping my PBR _and_ my Journey all to myself!'

He lifted his nose in the air, and pretended to turn on his heel and leave. I caught his waist and before I knew it we were standing so close, with my arms around him, next to my bed. My stomach twisted again. This had to stop, if only to try and maintain whatever was left of my dignity or my heart. I pulled back abruptly, desperate not to put myself in the face of more rejection, but I couldn't bring myself to detach my hands from his hips.

He lifted my chin up with his fingers and I saw confusion in his dark brown eyes at my sudden movement away. My thumbs slid down the taut lines running diagonally in from his hipbones and I gritted my teeth. I had two options. Either I was going to shove him to the wall then and there and kiss him so hard he'd forget his last name... or I had to get out of there. I looked him straight in the eye. 'Race ya?' I'd taken off before he could even catch his breath.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I forgot to write in the previous chapter's author note that Stephenie Meyer owns all these characters and references. I own nada. Rien. Niente. Nichts. Uh, except some dictionaries.

**Chapter 2 – Nessie's POV**

I dived head first through the window, ducked, rolled and set off fast and low through the trees. I let my hearing and eyesight scan out, filtering the dusky forest for obstacles and blocking... other thoughts. One thing my Dad had given me, apart from this mop of bronze hair, was speed, and I was so thankful for that right now as I let the cool, wet air take the sting from my blushed cheeks.

I was on the sand before he caught up with me – he must have phased back somewhere nearby. A brief thought of him pulling his shorts back on leaked into my head, slowing me momentarily, before I shook it out and ran as fast as I could for the surf. I threw my backpack onto the beach as I touched the sea, our finish marker, and we collided in the ebbing waves, falling to the sand and giggling like little kids.

'You are SO not allowed to count this one!' Jake puffed, breathless. 'You didn't even give me any warning!' He sat up, water dripping from his hair and down his t-shirt, which was now starting to cling to his chest. A drop ran along the curve of his cheekbone to the edge of his lips and he licked it away. My stomach tightened and I grimaced. This was so unfair. He was so not playing by the rules.

'Hey, you ok? You look cold.' Jake'd taken my frown and silence as discomfort, and since that was the simplest explanation, I decided to go with it.

'Yeah, the water's pretty cold. I'm ok though. Let's make the fire... is anyone else coming?' For a second I thought I saw hurt pass in his eyes before it disappeared. I got to my feet and rung out my hair, picking some seaweed from my jeans and threw it at him to lighten the mood. He caught it easily and threw it right back.

'I can get in touch with the pack, see who wants in? As long as they bring their own beer.'

Having Jake all to myself was obviously what I really wanted... but it was in a way I had no idea how to get, and which seemed pretty much a joke to him. At least if the pack was here I could talk to Leah, get some advice. Maybe she could distract me from this grinding feeling of emptiness and fullness all at once? Wanting something you couldn't have wasn't something I'd had much experience of...

'Sure, sure.' I said, borrowing his phrase, and set off across the beach to pick up as much driftwood as could carry. Jake pulled out his cell phone and called Seth. I heard him instruct him to call the others, but he seemed oddly reticent... or sad. Maybe he was feeling depressed tonight? I felt a sudden surge of love and guilt. Whatever stupid crush I was going through, if something was getting to Jacob, I had to help, even if I had no idea what to say.

I grabbed the last piece of white, wizened wood I could carry and jogged back over to Jacob, dripping all over the dry, grey sand. I dropped it all next to the pile he'd gathered and we started building the fire, working together to put the branches and planks in crossed patterns with air pockets. Jake threw some dry rushes at the base for kindling as I rummaged in my pack for matches and bent low into the pile of wood to shield the flame from the wind. The kindling lit easily and the little, seemingly fragile orange light spread quickly, blackening the sand below.

I was just about to ask him, while we were still alone, if he was ok when I shuddered. I hadn't really realised how cold I'd gotten from being in the sea. Jake looked up, almost as if it was an involuntary movement.

'Ness, you're soaked. Come here. 108 degrees, remember...' He held his arms out, palms up. I hesitated for a second, and that dark, distressed look passed across his eyes again, drawing me forward to cancel its sadness. I put my hands in his and let him pull me into his wide chest. The warmth on contact was delicious, saturating my body. I pressed myself against him almost without thinking, and moaned softly. I knew I'd regret _that_ later, but all I could think of now was Jake, surrounding me, rushing through me like the crackling, popping fire, catching branches up in its inexorable heat.

I pushed my face into his neck, my chin just resting on his broad collarbone, and breathed in his scent greedily, helplessly. Dirt and sweat and diesel and grass and moss and sandalwood... it was so, so good. I closed my eyes and laced my fingers together around his waist feeling where the muscles in his lower back curved and revelling in the warmth that seemed to swell from every pore in his body. I sighed, much more loudly and contentedly than I'd planned, and Jake pulled me in closer, resting his lips in my wet hair.

Three thoughts filtered through the others with astounding clarity: regardless of whatever would happen if I told Jake how I felt, we loved each other enough to survive it. And that I had to tell him. And soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I just want to say a quick thank you for all the amazing reviews... Just... wow. You all rock!

**Chapter 3 – Nessie's POV**

I was utterly lost in Jake when Embry's voice broke the moment with a very embarrassing 'Get a room!' Jake pulled away from me as if he'd been stung. I felt the absence in every part of me, but with more wolves arriving, now was really not the time to get emotional. I turned to the safety of the stereo and rifled through my CDs, trying to pick something all-American to start the party off, before I could lure them into some British post punk later. I settled on Creedence's 1969 classic Green River. So I liked sixties swamp rock, so sue me. I knew it'd be a hit when Sam, who'd just turned up, raised one eyebrow saying 'Not bad Cullen.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Of course it's not bad.'

He smiled widely. 'Alright, missy! I know you're our own personal radio station. Here, want a beer?' He offered me a cold PBR and I unscrewed the top.

'Thanks.' I smiled at him, but was interrupted by Leah's voice over the music.

'Yo Nessie!'

Suddenly I was nervous. My closest girlfriend was here. Finally I had someone I could bounce at least _some_ thoughts off... but that meant sharing the things in my head and once they were spoken they weren't just real, they were out there...

The others were arriving faster now, hugging each other in greeting, opening beers and clinking them together. Sam said Emily would be down soon, and he embraced Jake and his brothers Seth and Quil as they turned up one after the other. I grabbed Leah around the waist and hugged her tightly. She hugged me back hard, sensing that something was up, then pulled away with a quizzical expression.

'Hey, hey, you only saw me the day before yesterday… what's going on, Ness?'

'Can we walk off somewhere a little way? Somewhere they can't hear?'

Her eyebrow arched and without a word she turned back to the boys and said 'We'll be back in a mo – girl stuff.' I breathed in both relief and worry as a new and horrifying realisation hit me. It was so good to finally be able to tell someone about what was going through my head… but how would Leah keep it from the pack? Jake was her Alpha... and now she knew I had a secret she'd be unbearable till I revealed it...

I took one look at Jake before we walked away. The light from the fire was shining in his black hair, as he threw his head back to laugh his throatily at one of Embry's jokes. I felt myself blink too easily as my eyes began to fill with tears and squeezed them shut, determined not to let this whole situation upset me. I needed advice, not a shoulder to cry on.

Once we were far enough away, we sat on the sand, our backs against a flat rock.

Leah looked up at me. 'So?'

'Lee… how good are you at keeping things from the pack mind?'

She chuckled, almost to herself. 'Actually, really good now. The whole situation with Sam and Emily, and… well… being the only girl in the pack… it's made me practice really hard, and now I only let them see details about tampons and bunny boiling when I'm pissed off with them.'

She paused.

'So you've got something to tell me about a member of the pack, eh? Might this be something about a certain alpha with whom you spend every waking hour?'

I nodded. 'Who else could it be?'

'Who else indeed? Ok, Ness, well… you've got to give me more to go on than that…'

'I know… I just… I've done something really stupid. Not that I could help it, it just happened. Christ.' She looked at me, with gentle eyes, and squeezed my wrist.

'Well, whatever it is we'll work out what to do together.'

I opened my mouth, and decided to just let the words plunge out.

'I've fallen in love with Jake.'

She wasn't at all shocked. In fact, she looked… smug? Was I being obvious about it? God, that was embarrassing…

'I know he doesn't feel the same because he's as much as said so.'

Her satisfied look turned into a frown. 'What has he said?'

'Well, he joked earlier today that I should just come clean about being in love with him… as if it was an hilarious idea… and then just now when Embry told us to get a room he leapt off me as if he'd been goddamn Tased. Eugh.'

Leah's frown deepened. 'He did that, did he?' She paused 'I really do not get that boy. But hey, go back to the beginning. When did you start feeling like this? I can't believe you haven't told me already! You're all grown up now!'

She playfully shoved me in the shoulder, but I was so not in the mood. I took a deep breath.

'It's been going on for months, now. It started on my sixteenth birthday… That night, after all the cake and presents, he walked me back to the cottage. We were holding hands and it was like I was hyper aware of him. We got to the step of the cottage and he kissed my forehead like he always did, as if I was his little sister. And suddenly it had turned from being my favourite moment of the day to the most awful thing. We were so close, and the heat from him was… intoxicating. And I suddenly started to realise how gorgeous he is… I mean, you've been out with him in Forks and Port Angeles... it's like walking around with a goddamned movie star with all the female attention he gets!'

Leah made a face. 'Alright, alright, enough! I get it. He got asked out five times on our last trip to Wal-Mart.' She watched me grimace. 'But he hardly even noticed... his mind is always on a certain half vampire...'

I sighed.

'You've really got it bad, haven't you?'

'I am… irretrievable.' I muttered. 'And he is too...'

She muttered something about emo kids under her breath, which I decided to ignore rather than give her a lecture about the Rites of Spring and Fugazi.

'Look Nessie, boys are stupid. Like, really really dumb. No matter how much you think he's already rejected you, I can almost guarantee that he doesn't have a clue how you feel.'

'But you weren't there… you didn't see how he… reacted.'

'Show me then.'

I leaned in, touching her cheek lightly with my palm and opened the connection between us. I hadn't realised how awful reliving it would be. The moment Jake jumped away from me, the joke about me loving him… it was all so… embarrassing. I pulled my hand away as soon as I was done, and stared hard at my fingers in my lap.

'Shit.'

'Yeah.'

'I stand by my point though, Ness. Don't you dare give up on Jake. If you really love him, then you owe it to yourself to tell him out loud, or though your gift, at least once. I know you're scared about losing him, but you won't. If it doesn't work out it might be awkward for a while, but not forever. I promise. There was a time when I couldn't bear to be in the same hemisphere as Sam, and now we're here at a party together, and I'm ok.'

I cringed as I hugged her. How on earth would I tell him? My gift might be a good way – at least then no actual talking would be involved. I wouldn't show him scenes, just emotions. Maybe start with just regular friendship love, then kind of intensify it… but it all felt so calculating, and in some ways I wanted to say, out loud, how I felt about him.

I shivered and Leah leaned in to touch my hand. 'Ness, you're freezing. Come on, come back to the bonfire. You need to play DJ anyway, or the boys will just end up putting on crap.'

We got to our feet and she pulled me into her side. 'It'll be alright, I know it.'

'Who are you, Alice?'

'Trust me on this one. It's my elite wolfy senses. They're tingling, or something.'

Something suddenly occurred to me.

'So how come you've never… gotten with anyone else? I mean, did you have a rebound after...' I trailed off.

'Nah, I just sat alone a lot and listened to Alanis Morrisette. And got very drunk. And went to this stupid bar on the highway that was full of losers with Mom tattoos, gigantic motorbikes and tiny dicks.'

I laughed out loud, as Jake bounded over to us.

'Hey, what's so funny?' He pulled up in the sand, sliding in between Leah and I. We weren't telling him our joke so he just pouted and addressed Lee.

'_You_ can't steal Nessie all night. I only get her for twenty hours a day.'

She pulled a significant face at me. I stuck my tongue out at her as Jake rested his huge arm over my shoulders.

'Missed you, Ness.'

He ran his fingers over my cheeks, smudging black ash in two lines and added, very seriously, 'Now you're one of us.'

I would have giggled, but the first strains of 'Jump' drifted across the beach. Embry was crouched next to the stereo, a Van Halen album case gripped in his grubby hand. Jake grinned at my annoyance.

'Go on and save the music.'

I wanted to kiss him more than ever. God. This was worse than Eddie's hair.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **I'm thinking maybe I ought to make a playlist for this fic. Hmm. If this happens, it'll appear on my profile. If not, just YouTube whatever seems interesting. And accept my apologies for my own laziness!

**Chapter 4 – Nessie's POV**

Once I'd removed the offending bad hair rock, I thought I'd show Embry what the 80s really could be, so I grabbed a mix I'd made for Jake a while back with Talking Heads and Billy Idol kicking us off. On hearing everyone's appreciation at 'Dancing With Myself', Embry stuck his tongue out at me, so I frisbeed his CD off across the sand.

'Jake!' he wailed. 'Control your vampire!'

Jake just smirked. 'Hey man, there's no controlling Nessie. You gotta just go along for the ride.'

My chest swelled. I love how Jake never tried to control me, fence me in, discourage me. Sure, sometimes he'd try and talk me out of the really stupid stuff, but the Alpha was never there between us. We were equals, or, well, maybe I was his Alpha. I kinda liked that idea.

I straightened up from my crouch beside the stereo and walked around to sit between Jake and Leah. He slung an arm around my shoulders and, pulling me to him, planted a hot kiss on my forehead. My neck tingled where his arm touched me and I decided to risk something.

As he drew back I turned my face up to his, taking in the line of his perfectly angled jaw and how his thick black eyelashes cast little line shadows over his smooth, dark skin in the bonfire's light. So gorgeous...

'Hey Jake?'

'Yeah.' The softness in his voice and eyes as he spoke to me was utterly compelling.

'You look really handsome tonight.'

Instinctively I tried to look away, embarrassed at being so frank but I'd spoken nothing but the truth, and taking my eyes from his face meant I'd miss vital clues. If Leah was right then...

Jake grinned, hugged me to him and gestured to the beer bottle in my hands.

'How many of those have you had?'

I giggled. 'One! And you know they hardly affect me anyway.'

I snuggled in closer to him, and thought I could see some... confusion... happiness... in the colour of his cheeks and the arch of his eyebrows. I leaned down and kissed the arm wrapped around me, breathing in the smoky edge that tending the bonfire had added to his scent and my mind wandered to how Jake's full, dark red lips would feel on my neck... how his skin would heat mine into a frenzy... how I wanted to entwine myself with him until we lost everything except the feel of our bodies together...

He woke me from my reverie.

'So Ness, where are we gonna take Nahuel then? Forks is kinda dull. Maybe to Seattle for the day?'

I looked up at him, trying to shake the fantasies from my lust-dulled head.

'Wh-what?'

He laughed. 'You can't have forgotten he was coming?'

'Um, no, of course not!' I lied, trying to arrange my thoughts into something other than running my fingertips over Jake's stomach. 'We should take him up the Space Needle! And to see Kurt's house. Although maybe he wouldn't be interested in that... the aquarium?'

'That's a good one. Definitely the Space Needle. And maybe the police museum? I could buy some handcuffs in the gift shop, then you'd finally get to be chained to the stereo.'

He winked at me as I attempted not to imagine what else I could be handcuffed to. I failed.

'Ok, well I guess we collect him tomorrow and ask him what he'd like to do. I suppose he'll want to go hunting too...' My face fell. I had grown out of most of my need for animal blood and hated hurting them. Usually, I would catch a big, strong stag and just drink a little of its blood before letting it go, a little dazed but ok. Jake thought this was hilarious.

'Hey, hey, my little sweetheart. If he wants to go, I'll take him. You can make him some human food for when he gets back. How's that?'

I grinned and blurted out 'I love you.' I almost wanted to take it back. Even though we'd been saying it for years it meant so much more to me now. Just to me. My chest ached.

Jake just pulled me into his side, squeezing my waist.

'Hey you.' Jake leaned in. 'This is the last track of the mix.'

'I know... I just don't want to move.'

He leaned down and I could feel his breath on my neck . 'I don't want you to move either.'

My heart was utterly erratic now. I turned to Em, who was chatting with Leah.

'Emily, could you change the CD? There's a 90s pop punk mix on the top which should be good.'

She raised an eyebrow. 'You're trusting me to change the music?'

'Well, you're not a boy, so you'll do it right.' I smiled at her, trying to get across that I really didn't want her to make a fuss right now. She seemed to get it, cos the strains of Bowling for Soup boomed across the party. I snuggled further back into Jake and he pulled me closer in, burying his face in my hair and breathing deeply. I was utterly conflicted. Why on earth would he be like this if he didn't want me to be with him? Why did he jump away from me before?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **For this chapter I was forced to imagine waking up with Jacob Black. It's a hard job being a fanfic writer... *goes off into fantasy wolf-humping land*

**Chapter 5 – Nessie's POV**

I woke up the next morning really hot. In a sleepy haze I tried to pull off the covers but... that wasn't the source of the heat. As my eyes focussed properly I froze. My mind raced over last night, trying to pull out the details of how Jacob Black was now lying in my bed, with his arm over my hips. His eyelashes almost brushed his cheeks. His hair lay tousled over the pillow, and his mouth was just slightly open... I was melting at the sight of him when I suddenly realised what this might mean... I glanced down between us... both of us had t-shirts and underpants on. I would definitely have remembered if something had happened... wouldn't I?

I rolled over to look at the clock on my bedside table, and my movement disturbed Jake a little. He pulled me in closer to him and mumbled 'Mmm... Nessie...' into my hair. The melting of my heart continued at the pleasure of having him here... I was in bed. With Jake. Jake was in my bed. My bare legs were pressed against his... I wanted so badly to roll over and kiss him awake, but I was nowhere near brave enough. And now the end of last night was filtering back. We'd strolled home to the cottage, arms around each other, but when we'd gotten to the door I just couldn't bear to let him go. I'd had to hold onto him somehow, make him stay with me. He'd drawn me against him for a hug, but as he'd pulled away I wouldn't let go.

'Ness', he'd laughed, gently, 'I need my arms back to go home.' I'd decided to turn the full force of my eyes on him, trying to look as desirable and sweet as possible.

'Stay with me...'

He bit his lip.

'I thought I was supposed to be the one with the puppy dog eyes...'

At that, I knew I'd won. And I knew my parents were out hunting tonight. I took his hand and led him into the house. It was dark and quiet. I went to brush my teeth as Jake changed out of his jeans and then really tried not to stare as he walked, in boxers and a t-shirt, into my bathroom to do the same. I'd slipped off my jeans and bra, and climbed into bed then, and... that was all I remembered. I'd fallen asleep.

I cursed myself inwardly. I mean, I know we'd stayed up really late and I'd been exhausted from all the Edward-blocking and the run and the emotional struggle of trying to work out what the hell to do... but... Christ I was an idiot. And now we'd have Nahuel staying for days... my thoughts became less coherent as the heat from Jake's body started to lull me. It was only 6am, I could sleep some more... He shifted again gently, and breathed out a happy sigh as his arm slipped into the curve of my waist. I let myself drift back off to sleep, pretending we were together and this was our wonderful, perfect, incredible normality...

When I woke up again, I was alone and cold. I felt bereft... had I dreamed it all earlier? I glanced at the clock. It was 10am. I rolled over and suddenly his delicious scent hit me. Ok, not a dream. I buried my face into his pillow – his pillow! – breathing in deeply, when something crinkled against my arm. It was a note.

_Hey Ness, _

_I didn't have the heart to wake you – you've been so tired recently you looked like you really needed the sleep. I'll be round about 10:30 to get you so we can fetch Nahuel and educate him about the greatest country on God's earth. And when you're done playing him Buzzcocks and Gang of Four records we can show him the USA._

_Love you,_

_Jake_

I grinned to myself, then, after taking one last sniff jumped out of the bed and headed for the shower. When I woke up the next morning my head ached and my throat was parched. I swung my legs off the bed and headed for the bathroom. While drinking straight from the faucet I tried to calculate exactly how many beers I'd drunk and remember how I'd made it home... Maybe 10 cans? It didn't have as much of an effect on me because of the vampire half, but still...

I decided I really needed a shower and, stripping off my pajamas ducked inside the big cubicle turning my face up to the spray. How had I got home? I remember Jacob... We'd walked home slowly leaning on each other and giggling about the stupidest things before he tucked me into bed. And I'd leaned out and grabbed his hand... Oh god... And said 'Stay with me, Jakey...' I'd called him Jakey, that stupid nickname from when I was a kid. Bah. This was not good.

Especially as he'd prised my fingers out of his grasp, kissed the top of my head and told me he had to go home. Crap crap crap. And how had I gotten into my night clothes?

Ok, well the only way to do this was to pretend I didn't remember. And then laugh it all off if he did. This was not going to be fun. I threw on my black drainpipe jeans (Aunt Alice had long ago given up dressing me when I'd decided I wanted to look like Joey Ramone aged 3) and an old Sonic Youth t-shirt. I brushed through my mop of hair with my fingers and looked in the mirror. Wow, this was not good. I grabbed some kohl and circled my eyes before covering my lashes with mascara.

Better. Now at least my eyes looked vaguely dark and mysterious as opposed to red and tired.

I breathed in, ready to call Jake and face whatever music was coming when I smelt... eggs? I wandered down the hall into the kitchen keeping my thoughts firmly under control. The very last thing I needed right now was Edward listening in on last night... and there was Jacob, standing over a frying pan in jeans and an apron and... no shirt. He turned around when he heard me and grinned a little wearily.

'Hey Ness.' My stomach momentarily forgot how good the eggs smelled and twisted up. How had I forgotten how gorgeous he was?

'You look awesome, by the way, how do you do that?' he asked, incredulous. I decided teasing was the only way I could keep this light and nodded his way.

'You too, Martha Stewart. Want some coffee?' He made a face.

'Well, we can hardly go fetch Nahuel if I've got egg on my shirt and I smell like a diner. I looked over, and saw a black shirt draped over the arm of the sofa. Then backtracked my thoughts... Nahuel? Shit. He was coming and I'd completely forgotten. Well, at least maybe it'd distract me... Jake tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and flipped his eggs over, the muscles in his huge brown arms moving easily with the motion.

'How about that coffee?' he reminded me.

'Ohh. Sorry. I'm still a little wrecked from last night - I'll be ok in an hour.'

'Heh, you and me both' he grinned, deliciously, and caught me on my way back from the coffee machine in a huge hug. I buried my face in his shoulder, breathing in the scent of his skin as inconspicuously as possible and wrapping my arms around his waist, keeping my hands in fists so I didn't share anything I didn't want to. Right then, though, I was just loving him like ever. My wonderful best friend who I loved more than anyone. I decided to risk it, so I pulled him closer with one hand and opened the connection between us. I felt Jake tense, then slowly relax as I sent him love, so much love, and tacked on thanks for breakfast at the end. Just as it started to get x-rated I closed my fist and took a last breath in. Petrol and moss and sandalwood and cut grass... We'd both lost track of time when Jake suddenly swore.

'Shit, Ness, the eggs!'

'They'll be fine Jake', I said, smiling beatifically, still high from his scent. I wanted to tell him to fuck the eggs and not to let me go if he valued his life, but that really was not appropriate, so I loosened my hold and poured us two black coffees, dropping a couple of sugars into Jakes. He put the plates down on the table and I grabbed ketchup to smother mine and decided to come clean.

'So, don't laugh, but I totally forgot Nahuel was coming.'

'Oh really, Miss Juvie?' he teased, grinning so widely my knees pressed themselves together involuntarily.

'Yeah, I guess. Stupid really. I spose I've been trying to sort a lot of stuff out in my head.'

'Yeah? Like what?'

'Well...' how do I skirt this without him realising? 'I'm... fully grown now. I mean, I haven't gotten any taller in about two months and I finally seem to just be fitting into my clothes... So, what does that mean? I can be around people... And have a life... Maybe go to college... I mean, don't you want those things?'

'Yeah, I guess. I forgot you were missing them really, and I'm sorry about that... I guess we'll have to go out more in Port Angeles and Forks and Seattle! Hey, we could go to Olympia and do a tour of places significant to riot grrl?'

'Oh my god Jake that would be amazing!' I grinned like a dope, trying not to let my memories of the last time I'd been out with Jake cloud my happiness. We'd been in Seattle, cos he needed to get a car part and I just wanted to get out and see somewhere different. It was the first time i'd really realised what his effect was on human women. It was like being with a moviestar or something. I mean, granted, he's really tall, so he's a lot more noticeable, but... He got asked out five times, all when I'd wandered off to fetch something - get us cokes or go to the bathroom... I'd come back and he'd be calmly telling some blonde or brunette thanks but no thanks... I quietly blessed our reserved little town on the drive on the way back, then cursed my own goddamned ordinariness.

I'm alright looking, I guess. I'm tall, five feet ten, which is great because it's just the right height for hugging Jake so he can rest his chin on my head. And also so I can look Aunt Rosalie in the eye whenever she insults my favourite person. My hair is my best feature - long and wavy with ringlets here and there. It's reddish brown and matches my eyes ok, especially after I've had some blood. I've never been skinny as such. I guess I've got a woman's shape, but my shoulders are nice - wider than my hips so I don't have a pear shape. I don't know, I guess I'm ok looking and sometimes I do seem to attract some attention, although Jake always terrified any guy who even tried, which I was just fine with.

'What are you thinking? You've gone all quiet and pensive, Ness.'

Jake looked at me from under his lashes and something melted in me.

'Oh, nothing. Just stuff. The future. Sorry, I'm still tired.'

'Ok, well you go get a car and I'll wash up?'

'Sure, sure.' I said, borrowing his phrase.

The ride out to the airport, in an Aston Martin with tinted windows no less, was fun. I played DJ again, putting on stupid country songs and we both sang along in fake Southern accents, adding in disparaging comments about scallawags, carpet baggers and Yankees. Jake's scent filled the car and mingled with my own, and by the time we were nearing the airport I was resting my head on his shoulder, yodelling along to Hank Williams' Lonesome Blues. He kissed my forehead when we got to the turn off and soon we were strolling through the terminal, arm in arm, making stupid comments about the people in voices so low only we could hear.

'Why, ah do decalyre mr Black that hussy is giving you a show of her ankle!'

'Ah, but Miss Cullen, how could any woman capture mah attention when indeed such a perfect example of the fairer sex takes mah arm.'

My stomach twitched.

'Although,' he continued 'That is a very fine ankle...'

'Why you rogue!' I whispered. 'I ought to teach you a lesson on how to respect a lady!'

'Ah, Miss, it is indeed difficult being as rakishly handsome and yet strangely accessible as I. No man will manage it until... Leonardo DiCaprio in the late 20th century I do believe.'

'And so modest with it too!'

We both giggled, shoving each other about until someone coughed and I pivoted on the spot. There was Nahuel. I ran forwards. 'Sorry! We were just messing about.' and I held my arms out to hug him.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** This chapter is dedicated to all the episodes of Sally Jessie Raphael where they made a muscular man strip off so screaming audience members could assault him. I hope they paid for the inevitable counselling which resulted. And the hearing aids.

**Chapter 6 – Nessie's POV**

I guess the day hadn't actually gone as badly as I was imagining it might. Jake was only approached by one crazy lady who asked to touch his biceps. He looked imploringly at me. The woman asked if I was his girlfriend and I answered back that if she was his girlfriend, would she let random women feel him up? She seemed to get it and backed off. Although maybe that was also down to my low growl.

Nahuel thought the whole thing was hilarious, muttered 'freak' under his breath and when Jake left to place our order at the pancake house he'd asked me point blank if 'you and Hulk Hogan' were together. He'd clearly been watching too much imported cable. Since when did they get that in the Amazon? Annoyed, I replied in the negative, but at that he seemed really pleased. And I could sort of tell where this might be headed. He'd tried to hold my hand a few times during the day, too, and it felt so wrong my stomach hurt. I started worrying how I was going to tell him the truth without hurting him…

Worst of all was when I went to use the bathroom in the aquarium. Something... happened between him and Jake cos I returned to the stoniest of silences... and Jake just started acting differently around me - stopped affectionately ruffling my hair or putting his arm around my shoulders or kissing the top of my head. It was awful, but Nahuel never gave me any time alone with Jake to ask what the hell was going on. Seriously, he was glued to my side all day.

Later on, Nahuel and I were sitting on the sofa in the big house (where he was staying, thank Christ) and watching Back to the Future. My choice, obviously, but also one of Jake and my favourite movies... even so, Jake had said he had some wolf pack thing to do and left, with the most hurt look on his gorgeous face. I felt physical pain at that, but was also determined not to give in if he was going to sulk and pout, no matter how perfectly his bottom lip rounded with the expression…

Just as Marty was given the flyer to save the clock tower, Nahuel shifted closer to me. I looked across at him and his hand was sliding closer to my leg. I bit the inside of my cheek and decided enough was enough. I had to tell him to back off. I paused the movie and just blurted out what I'd wanted to ask Jake all afternoon.

'Nahuel… what did you say to Jacob today when we were in the aquarium?'

'I told him I'd asked you if you were with him and that you'd said you weren't. I told him that since that was the case he should back off you. Give up whatever torch he's carrying. Or pass it on, rather.'

I blanched in horror. He continued, seemingly oblivious.

'And I made my case, too. I mean, you're my kind, Renesmee: the only other half vampire. It's like destiny. We're plainly supposed to be together and…' he paused and was clearly trying to seem alluring and complimentary, 'I'm so glad you grew up so beautiful.'

I'd heard enough.

'Ok, stop now.' He opened his mouth to speak, but I held my hand up. 'Look, Nahuel. Jake and I aren't together now but if I have anything to do with it, it will not be that way for much longer. I'm sorry.'

He looked incredulous. 'You like... that dog?' He said the word with disgust and my blood boiled.

'You would do well not to say one more thing about Jacob Black if you want to keep that nice face of yours the way it is now.'

'Oh, so you think I'm handsome?'

This was unbearable. 'No. Well, objectively yes, but not compared to Jake. There is nothing you can do or say, he is who I want.' I really hoped I'd been as crystal as it was possible to get, but he persisted.

'Even if he gave up on you so easily? Even if he's never shown an interest in progressing things romantically with you? Even if he sees you as his little sister, Renesmee?'

That was cold, and even if some part of me thought it was true, I was done listening.

'I think I've made my position clear.' He shifted closer to me.

'Lay one finger on me and I'll break your nose.'

'Oh come on... Just try me out...'

He put his hand on my thigh and tried to lean in to kiss me. That was it, I was through with trying to reason with him. I pulled back my arm and punched him as hard as I could in his stupid, puckered mouth. He yelped in pain and reeled back, clutching at his nose, which was now streaming blood. Uncle Emmett came running downstairs so fast I could hardly see him move.

'Ness... What the hell?'

'I did warn him.'

Emmett saw me cradling my knuckles, looked back at Nahuel's messed up face and burst out laughing.

'Girl, you have got your mother's temper for sure. You know she once punched Jacob for trying to kiss her?'

'I see, a family affair is it?' Nahuel said, snidely.

'Oh you want to keep very quiet right now.' Emmett warned. 'You've already practically assaulted my teenage niece and now you're insulting her mother? Real smooth. I can't possibly see how you fail to be a hit with the ladies.'

I giggled. He turned to me.

'Nessie, are you ok?'

'Sure, sure.' I nodded, then my insides twisted at my casual use of Jake's phrase. My Jake…

'Alright. I'm gonna take this little punk to see Carlisle then we're dropping him back at the airport.' He shook his head at Nahuel and grabbed him under one arm. 'Dude, you blew it.'

I was so glad to see the back of him, but at the same time I was just filled with worry about Jacob... what the hell was he thinking right now? I only knew one person who could help. I called up the stairs at Emmett's huge retreating figure. 'I'm going over to the Rez, to see Leah.'

Then I was flying out the door letting the cool night air rush over me. She'd know what to do. Or at least have some bourbon hidden under her bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **I really need to develop a taste for whiskey, damn it. Drinking Tia Maria and pretending it's Jim Beam is getting old. I'm bound to be found out soon.

**Chapter 7 – Nessie's POV**

I was outside Leah's house in record time, even for me. I guess I could not run fast enough to get away from Nahuel. I shuddered, then gripped onto the branches of the big fir outside Leah's window and climbed up. I knocked on the glass, and she wheeled around, gripping her chest. Moments later the window flew up.

'Jesus, Nessie! You scared the crap outta me!'

'Sorry…' My face crumpled a little, and Leah leaned out.

'Never mind that, come on in.' She helped me step through the window, putting a hand on my head to make sure I didn't hit it on the frame. 'What's happened, Ness?'

I half-smiled, half-grimaced, but Leah knew me way too well.

'I don't really want to put it into words. Can I just show you?'

'Should I sit down? Am I gonna need to get my gun afterwards?'

I giggled a little, despite my mood. 'Naw, although we might need to steal some of Sue's whiskey.'

'Way ahead of ya,' she said smugly, and pulled a bottle of Wild Turkey from her sock drawer.

We both sat on her bed, and after a swig I pressed my palm to her temple and showed her the day, starting at the airport. By the end, she was livid, almost shaking with anger.

'Nessie, he has to pay. I'm sure you hit him good but this…'

'Hey, hey, he's paid enough. I definitely broke his nose. Maybe I'll have got lucky with some teeth too.'

She calmed down a little at that and took a drink. 'Alright.'

One more swallow and she'd started to snigger.

'You… punched him! In the goddamn face!' I couldn't help but laugh myself. 'Yep.'

We collapsed in giggles, holding on to each other's waist as we both replayed the scene. By the time we came up for air, we had tears in our eyes.

'Oh Nessie, I love you.' Leah managed to say between deep breaths. 'But wow… Jake ran away?'

'Well I'm assuming from that that he had nothing to do with the pack tonight?'

'Sorry… no. Unless it's a boy thing and they're all measuring their dick growth overnight or something.'

'Leah!'

'Alright, sorry. Well look, do you want me to phase and see if I can see where he is?'

'Yes! Oh please, can you? Please?'

She laughed, 'Yeah, of course, come on.'

Lee tucked the bottle into the waistband of her sweatpants and we scrambled down the tree, both jumping the last ten feet or so. Landing in the soft pine needles made the sharp, leafy scent rise up and suddenly it was as if Jake had recently left. As if he'd been standing here seconds ago. I moaned softly, and hugged my chest, trying to pretend, for a second, that my arms were his huge, hot embrace. Leah looked at me sadly. 'Can you… still smell him here?' I balked. 'Y…yes. How? When was he here?'

'He came by yesterday morning, just to check pack arrangements before he left for the day. He smelt so strongly of you, it was like you two had woken up together or something… I guess we disturbed the scent when we jumped.'

I looked at my shoes.

'Just tell me where he is.'

She nodded. 'Ok, Ness. Two seconds.'

She disappeared behind the fir and moments later, a huge, beautiful wolf emerged. I could see she was trying to concentrate, her ears twisted left and right and her eyes kept closing. She shook her head a few times, and looked sadly at me. I knew she meant he hadn't phased. I sat down and patted the ground next to me, and she came and lay down by my legs. I ran my fingers absentmindedly through the soft fur on her neck and she rolled over on her back and pretended to want me to stroke her stomach, like a pet dog. I couldn't help but smile, and she caught me off guard, licking from my chin to my forehead.

'Eww, Lee! Go change back! Your breath smells like bourbon and Pedigree Chum!'

She barked a laugh and went behind the tree again.

When she emerged, Leah came forward and rubbed my back. 'Nessie, I know I told you this on the beach, but I promise, really and truly, that things will work out with Jake. I know how much he loves you. I have to put up with it every time he phases. You run through his mind, always in the background even when he's supposed to be concentrating. You're like the hum of crickets or singing birds or the sound of the tide – you're like a part of nature, of him… ambient. "Nessie wore this today, we're doing this later, she laughed for me yesterday, we ate this on the beach, she played me this new song…". It was really his constant Nessie ticker tape that made me realise how totally awesome you are. He loves you more than anyone or anything.'

I frowned, trying to make sense of this. It tallied with my experience too closely. Sometimes even the double thud of my heart sounded like Ja-cob, Ja-cob. Not that I'd ever told anyone that because it was the most mushy thought I'd possibly ever had and I had a reputation as a punk girl to maintain. I breathed in deeply.

'Ok, Lee. So what do I do now?'

'Maybe give him tonight to calm down and realise what an idiot he was and to salvage some of his pride. Then you just have to tell him, or show him, how you feel. There's no point in delaying this Nessie. I know better than anyone that you have to take as much love as you can fit inside yourself while it's there, being offered. Because it might not be forever.' She glanced away. 'Anyway, look at me being so fucking emo.'

I offered her the bottle and she took it, just as car lights rounded the corner and bounced up the drive. I squinted and realised it was my grandpa Charlie's car.

'What is Charlie doing here?'

'Oh, he's got some new transfer from Texas to show around. Cowboy wants to police the rainy forest instead of… I dunno… cattle rustlers and gold rushers?' I giggled. 'He's brought him over, anyway, so he can meet some people on the Rez. Billy arrived just before you did. My mom's cooked some snacks for them. Want in?'

It seemed like a decent enough distraction. It'd been a while since I'd visited Charlie and I missed him. Billy I'd seen a few days ago, but maybe I could grill him a little about the whereabouts of his son… Charlie and the Texan policeman had gone inside, so we climbed back up the fir, into Leah's bedroom and popped some chewing gum to disguise our whiskey breath. Leah changed into jeans and a blouse, explaining that her mom would kill her if she showed up in front of company in sweatpants and we trotted down the stairs.

'Nessie! Did you come up to see Leah?' Sue called, happily, as I came into view. She wrapped me in a big hug before I could answer, and I hugged her back, enjoying the soft warmth of a human mother's embrace.

'Ness, good to seeya.' Grandpa grinned, his face crinkling. I hugged him too, and he kissed the top of my head. 'This here is Nathan Longstreet. He's transferred up from Texas.'

The young officer stepped forward and nodded towards me. 'Hello Miss.'

'Hello sir.' I smiled shyly. I wasn't entirely sure what had come over me. Stupid Southerners and their contagious manners.'

'Call me Nate, please.'

'Nate.' I looked up, determined to properly address him and suddenly Leah was standing beside me, her mouth hanging open slightly. I turned to her. 'This is Leah Clearwater, Sue's daughter.' She hardly moved but managed to mutter out a quiet greeting. He seemed almost as tongue-tied.

'Leah… That's a beautiful name. Do you go by Lee for short?'

'Uh…' She looked at me for support.

'Sure, actually we all call her that all the time.'

'Well, that's grand. We've got Confederate names in common then.' He chuckled. 'My parents were… kind of obsessives. Hence I'm Nathan, after Bedford Forrest. My folks are some distant relation, or so they claim, of James Longstreet too.'

She still hadn't recovered herself, but he went on.

'Not that I agree with those politics, of course. It's one of the reasons why I wanted to move away. Some people are still stuck in the 1860s.'

'What… what were your other reasons?'

I was impressed she'd even managed to get a sentence out. I mean, Nate was cute, definitely. He'd got short, wavy, golden-blond hair, freckles over his nose and sunbrowned skin. He was tall and kind of lanky, but looked nice in his uniform. But like every man I ever seemed to see, the words 'he's not Jake', were the only ones that came to mind.

Nate gestured to the sofa and he and Leah sat together.

'I still don't quite know why I came. I just… knew I had to. That sounds weird and kooky, I know. And… I don't mean to frighten you, but…' he was speaking so quietly now I was sure only I could hear: Seth was running patrol and everyone else in the house was human. 'I think… I think you're the reason, Leah…'

Fully expecting Leah to find this incredibly creepy, I waited for her to shove him away or storm out. Instead she leaned closer on the couch and smiled serenely.

Grandpa Charlie nudged me. 'Well Nate certainly doesn't wait around, does he?'

I looked up at him incredulously. 'I've never seen anything like it!'

'Oh sure you have.' He said. 'It's just how that Black kid looks at you! When are you two going to realise what's going on? Billy and I have bets going and I want to win.'

My mouth hung open.

'Don't look at me like that young lady, I've been around you know. Us terminal bachelors learn a thing or two.'

'Terminal bachelors, eh Grandpa? And what about the lady of this house?'

'Ah Sue, she's too good for me. But leave it with me anyway,' he chuckled, tapping the side of his nose.

I laughed with him, just as Sue came in with bowls of chips, chopped salad and dips, and a tray of cold beers. She came over with an opened bottle to give to Charlie, looking strikingly beautiful as always. I took my cue to leave and muttered something about chatting to Billy.

I grabbed a couple of beers from the tray and approached him, still trying to work out where to begin.

'Hey Billy.' I handed him a drink and sat down next to him.

'Nessie.' He clinked his bottle against mine and took a draw. 'Now what happened today?'

I cringed. Jake had gone home.

'I… Jake and I…' I stumbled over the words, trying to find some way to explain.

'You don't have to tell me, sweetheart. I'm assuming you don't want to be with… how did Jake put it? "That scrawny little poisonous bastard"?'

We both burst out laughing then, and I bit my lip.

'Definitely not.'

'And would I be right in assuming that your feelings for my only son are not only highly indecent, but also improper and impure?'

'Billy!'

'Just keeping it real, Ness.'

'Well. Maybe. Yes. But you can't say anything.'

'No, I can't, but you have to.'

'I know. I'm going to tomorrow. Leah told me to stay away today. That he needed a night to calm down.'

'Bullshit. I'll be here till late. He's probably sitting where I left him, on the swing in the yard contemplating every detail of how he fucked up.' He looked me right in the eyes. 'Drink that beer. Steel your nerves, and tell him how you feel. He's a good man, Nessie. And you are a better woman. If he turns you down, I'll personally beat him from here to Canada, chair or no chair.'

My heart was in my throat. I drank down the cold beer and got up. Billy gripped my arm and squeezed it tight.

I said my goodbyes to Sue and Charlie, Leah and Nate, who were by now animatedly discussing each other's upbringing and favourite movies, and stepped out of the Clearwater's front door.

Crickets hummed and a few night birds sang. In the distance I heard the sea swell and push waves up first beach. I closed my eyes and ran forward, towards Jake.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **You know what's great sometimes? Fluff :)

**Chapter 8 – Nessie's POV**

I ran down the drive, across the road and into the forest, along the path that led from my parents' cottage, through La Push and to Jake's house. I'd hardly gotten through the trees when his scent hit me, fresh and heady. This path always smelled a little like Jake, but this was much more than that... the wind was blowing towards me, flicking my hair back over my shoulders, and... carrying his scent along with it.

Without consciously knowing what I was doing I sped up, navigating almost entirely by following the delicious, intoxicating breeze. The sound of light footsteps, and a strong, fast heartbeat crept into my peripheral hearing and I soared inside, knowing he was getting closer with every step.

Just as I felt as if I must be almost on top of him, he was there on the path. We both skidded to a halt at the sight of each other. We were maybe ten feet away, and the electricity that crackled between us seemed determined to make us close the gap. He stepped forward, and spoke, an ache in his voice.

'Nessie…' Another few steps. 'I had to come back to you. I don't care what he says. I don't care what choice he thinks you can't help but make. I don't care about types or kinds or so-called destiny.' He paused, stepping right up in front of me and took a deep breath. His next words made my heart melt and run into every muscle and bone and fibre in my body.

'I'm in love with you.' Jake said, humbly, but clearly. 'Utterly and completely. I _want_ you…'

My brain was trying to tell me to answer him, to tell him that I felt exactly the same and that there was no one else I could ever feel that way about, but instead I just made very attractive goldfish shapes with my mouth, unable to process what had just happened.

Jake grinned at my ineptitude, then licked his lips... the sight made my thighs press together. He slid his arms around my waist and I eagerly leaned forward, pressing myself against him.

'Miss Cullen,' he said, swallowing his nerves. 'May I kiss you?'

The formality shocked me into finally finding myself. What the hell was I doing letting Jake be the courageous one, declaring his feeling while I stood dumbly by? I might not be able to speak, but I could show him how I felt.

I flung my arms up around his neck, and pressed my lips to his, trying to take in every sensation. His scent enveloped me and I slid my tongue between his lips, deepening the kiss, desperate to taste him. His reaction was electric. As our mouths moved our tongues met and playfully stroked each other. I pushed into him harder, all the tension of the previous months sliding out of my body as his fingertips traced around my shoulder blades before his hands settled into the curves of my waist.

Gently, we both slowed the kiss, turning it into kisses and taking turns to brush each other's eyelids, noses, jaws, cheekbones and ears with our lips. It was heavenly...

At last we pulled back slightly and I let one hand slide around to press against his temple. I started off showing him that I loved him. There were no scenes, just the golden, beating pulse of my heart saying Ja-cob over and over. It was so strong I almost felt the emotion bursting through my palm at him, and his eyes widened, then softened.

At this, I decided to be a little braver and showed him just how much I wanted him. I let him feel the constant ache running down from the top of my thighs whenever I thought of him, how his touches left trails on my skin, how I could hardly take my eyes from his lips when we were together, how every time I saw his stomach flex it made my knees weak, how he was the most beautiful, sexiest, most utterly, indecently gorgeous man I had ever, ever seen. When I looked back into his eyes, they were dark with desire.

I let my hand slide to cup his jaw, and brought his mouth gently down to mine. This time the kisses were slow and filled with lust. I ran my tongue along the edge of Jake's and wound my fingers into his hair. He groaned into my mouth, and pulled back just slightly.

'Nessie... Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?' he muttered in a low growl.

'You have a somewhat similar effect on me.' I said softly, inclining my head around his jaw and darting my tongue out to lick his earlobe, and since we were being honest added, 'God, I've wanted to do that for so long...'

He smirked a little, and then an angry thought seemed to cross his brow.

'Hey, Jake, what is it?' I stroked the back of his neck with my fingertips, trying to soothe him.

'Well... what happened back there? At the house?'

'You wanna see?'

'Okay, but I hold you responsible for any wolfy transformations and/or destroyed trees that might result.'

'Jacob Black, this is protected old growth forest and you know it!' I teased, then kissed him softly. 'Anyway, it doesn't matter what you see. I chose you. I already had months ago and nothing Nahuel said or did could even begin to change that.'

He nodded, looking at the ground, and I slid my hand around above his cheekbone again, opening the connection and taking a deep breath. I had no idea how he would react to this.

When I showed myself running out the door, I closed the connection, and warily looked down at Jake's clenched jaw.

'You... you punched him... in the face?'

I laughed nervously.

'Well, yeah. I did warn him.'

He let out a barked laugh and took my face in his hands, kissing me fervently.

'You are amazing, and brilliant, Nessie Cullen. Amazing AND brilliant.'

I giggled.

'But... my god... boy had such a _nerve_. It's enough to make any wolf very, very angry...'

'Hey, hey, hey.' I soothed, pressing my face into his neck and layering kisses over kisses until I felt his breathing relax. 'Look who got me in the end.'

He pulled me up to his lips again and the heat of his embrace and the taste of his tongue made me moan. He grinned, kissing me deeper, making my thighs clamp together. I wanted to grind into his body and have him shove me to the forest floor... but it was entirely too soon. There was something he had to know, though.

I slid back, just enough to speak, but close enough for our lips to brush as mine formed words.

'Jake... there's no way I am sleeping without you from now on...'

I felt his smile. 'It's ok, I don't think I'll ever be able to let you out of my sight again, let alone sleep without you.'

My chest burned, molten with feeling, and I realised although I'd shown Jake how I felt before, I hadn't actually said the words. I looked up into his beautiful dark eyes and spoke the sentence I'd been composing in my head for months.

'Jacob Black. I love you. _Fuck..._ I love you.'


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Again, I have you thank you all so much for your amazing comments and reviews... They've helped me so much, not just with confidence, but also style and characterisation.

**Chapter 9 – Nessie's POV**

We walked back to the cottage in silence, grinning inanely, our bodies touching in every conceivable place. I had my left arm wound around his waist and the fingers of my right hand tangled in his, where his right arm was slung around my shoulders. His scent enveloped me, and every shallow breath seemed to daze me a little more, like doing a line of shots. Once we walked through the front door, he kicked it shut with his foot, and pushed me up against it, mumbling something like 'finally', and crashing his lips to mine. I twisted my fingers up into his hair as I pushed my tongue past his teeth. He moaned, and pushed his hips into mine, making heat streak down from my stomach to where my thighs met.

'Renesmee!'

My Dad's voice was higher than normal and I froze, pulling away from Jake's lips. Oh god. Crap crap crap. I was really hoping this whole scene could be avoided with a quiet family conference somewhere. Preferably with Jake in another state and any sharp and/or bolt action weapons very far from Edward's reach.

'Hi Dad.' I was blushing furiously and Jake looked equally worried. He turned around, half hiding me behind his huge back.

'Uh... Hi Edward. I was just leaving.' He raised an eyebrow at me to check this was a good plan and I nodded. Once he was out of the door, Dad grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me into the lounge. He dumped me down on the sofa and yelled out 'Bella!'

My Mom came in then, glancing backward and forward between Edward and me, then putting her hands on her hips.

'Edward, why do you look like you're about to go and shoot up a town then skin some kittens?'

I turned to her and explained.

'Jake and I... well... we're together now.' I paused, realising that wasn't exactly clear enough. And I'd had enough of our relationship being confused and misinterpreted. 'He's my boyfriend.'

My Mom jumped up in the air, her characteristic exuberance irrepressible. 'Oh, my little girl!' she exclaimed, and ran over to me, pulling me into a huge hug. Dad looked horrified.

'Bella! I just caught him mauling her in the corridor! You should have heard what was in his head!'

'Oh Edward, they're _teenagers_. Need I remind you that you used to sneak into my room every single night in high school?' Dad grimaced as Mom handed me that piece of ammunition. 'Anyway, I trust Renesmee to be safe.' She turned to me. 'You haven't yet... have you?'

I cringed. 'No Mom. But I do want him to be able to come over whenever and to spend the night.' Dad's face darkened. 'Not that we'll be doing anything other than sleeping for a while, I just...'

Mom pushed some of my messed up curls away from my eyes. 'That's fine with your father and I.' Dad made a face but she turned to him. 'Look, Edward, you knew this was going to happen. The two of them are... meant to be. Like you and I. I know it's hard for you, but I will shield their thoughts from you whenever they're in this house. And I'm sure Renesmee will try her best to respect you when you're around, won't you Nessie?'

I nodded quickly, trying to shoot Dad a sorry glance. He seemed to soften a little at that and cleared his throat.

'Well. I guess what your Mom said is right. I... overreacted... as usual. I just love you so much, Nessie, and it's hard to think of you not as my little miracle baby.' I felt tears prick behind my eyes and rushed over to hug my Dad. He held me fiercely and whispered in my ear. 'Don't ever forget us here, Ness. No matter how many stupid things I shout or how often I lose my temper I only ever do or say anything because I love you more than my life.'

I nodded into his shoulder, overwhelmed for the moment by my parents' love. I wiped my eyes and nose on my Dad's shirt and that started him off laughing, and soon Mom and I were giggling along. When we finally stopped, and caught our breath, Mom announced that she and Dad were going over to the big house to hang out with Emmett, Jasper, Rose and Alice, and that they'd be back later. Dad looked pointedly at me at that point, but Mom just grabbed his arm and pulled him away. I sat for a moment on the sofa after the door shut and closed my eyes. Today had been a huge mess of emotions, but the terror had mostly been for nothing, and I suddenly realised I was utterly exhausted.

I wandered into my room, enjoying a little time to assemble my thoughts, and stuck on some Sam Cooke, letting his cadenced voice unwind my strung out heart. I took a very long, very hot shower, brushed my teeth and threw on one of Jake's old Rez school football shirts he'd given me years ago. I crawled onto my bed, lying over the covers, and as I lay still I could smell his scent lingering very, very faintly in the fibres of the fabric. Suddenly, I felt very, very alone. I grabbed my phone and called him. It picked up on the first ring, and his husky, worried voice answered, 'Nessie? Are you ok? What happened? What did he say? Was it bad?'

'Hey Jake.' I giggled a little at his concern. 'Everything's good. Come over?'

'Everything's good?' He sounded very relieved, and added nervously, 'cos, you know, I could have had us out of the state in a few hours, and the hemisphere inside of a day.'

I couldn't help but laugh then, and he breathed out heavily down the line. 'So, um... did you say something about coming over?'

'Yes. Come over. I need to teach you my Dad's favourite attack moves. He's got a killer uppercut you need to know how to block.'

The phone clicked dead and I realised he must have been torturing himself while we were apart... He knew my Dad, he'd known him a lot longer than I had and I knew they'd got a... chequered history. I silently thanked my Mom again for her calming words and sense. I would have to make her something to thank her – maybe a really great mix of gratitude-themed songs?

I started working through the play list in my head when I heard my window open, and Jake's scent flooded my room, making my skin tingle. His hair was wet, he was only wearing sweat pants and sneakers, and breathing heavily from running hard.

'I just got out of the shower when you called.' He explained, sitting down on the edge of the bed and kicking his shoes off. The motion made some droplets of water slide lazily over the smooth tan skin of his shoulders and I couldn't wait any more. I lunged at him, grabbing him around the neck and pulling him down over me to kiss him deeply.

'Jacob...' I mumbled between kisses. 'I missed you.' He laughed softly and pulled gently away from my lips, grinning at my pout before looking serious.

'You know, I would have fought for you.' He said in a soft voice. 'I wanted to leave cos it seemed right then, but if he'd tried to stop us being together, I would have battled tooth and claw to be with you, Renesmee. I love you more than anyone or anything alive or dead.'

His dark, dark eyes shone as they searched mine. 'Even if you'd decided you didn't want me, I'd still wait for you till I died of loneliness or until you ran me over with your car for following you around like a lost puppy or something...' He buried his face in my wet hair and inhaled, almost as if he wanted to hide his face from me. Yep, these past hours must have been pretty hard for him, and my chest pained, sharing his hurt.

I turned my face slowly so my lips were next to his ear. 'Hey, hey', I crooned softly, remembering Leah's words, and he turned to face me. 'I'm here, I'm yours, I love you. He could have tried to stop us being in love, but you're a part of me... just like blinking,' I kissed his eyelids one by one, 'or breathing', I touched my lips to his, 'or swallowing...' I moved down to caress his throat, drawing a heart with my tongue over his Adam's apple.

He gasped, and drew himself up on his elbows, all traces of hurt melting away into lust. He bit his lip in that enticing way I could never resist. I knew both of us weren't exactly ready to take things further tonight. Hell, we'd shared our first kiss only a few hours ago, and I knew I'd been pushing it, but I needed him to know I was here, and I was his. The temptation to release the sexual and emotional tension right here and now was almost overwhelming, but I squeezed my eyes shut and we both seemed to silently acknowledge our first time deserved to be something more than relief sex.

He bent to kiss me close mouthed, then murmured against my lips. 'Thank you, Ness.' He leaned his forehead against mine. 'But if we're going to sleep together and I'm going to be a gentleman, then you really need to not... lick me... anymore.'

I smiled mischievously and gave him a 'who, me?' look. He rolled off me, making both of us groan a little bit before sliding an arm under me and pulling me into his side. He tucked the comforter over me and I wrapped one of my arms around his huge chest and slung a leg over his. I kissed the hot, bare skin under my cheek and we melted into sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** I've had a request to write from Jake's POV, which is actually something I've been considering for a while now, so here goes. It's more sexual than anything else yet, so be prepared, but hey, I rated this M for a reason. Let me know your thoughts...

**Chapter 10 – Jake's POV**

I woke up slowly, feeling utterly surrounded by Nessie. It was fucking delicious. We were facing each other, she'd got one leg sandwiched between mine, and her hands were flat against my chest. I could feel her soft, even breaths against my neck and smell her shampoo. I then realised I had possibly the biggest hard on in history resting against the inside of her left thigh. All that was separating our skin was my pair of painfully thin sweatpants. And this wasn't just morning wood, this was post-Nessie-dream wood, which had been plaguing me for months now and... Christ. She wasn't ready for any of this. She stirred a little and mumbled something into my neck, her lips brushing where she'd licked me last night. If she was waking up this could be very embarrassing, very soon.

I slowly extracted myself from our embrace, earning a sexy, sleepy pout, pulled the covers all the way around her and walked into the bathroom to try and straighten out my thoughts. She didn't want to sleep apart. At some point soon we were going to have sex. Well, if she wanted to. Which she seemed to... I tried to shut the insecure part of my brain off. She's my imprint, she loves me, she kisses me like she's about to go to a firing squad. It's probably fair to assume she doesn't really mind the way I look, so I should really stop being such a dork about this.

I groaned quietly, realising I was going around in circles in my head. I really needed to talk to someone about this. Someone who had some kind of experience. And a wolf. Sam would be too weird, plus Emily understandably wouldn't want him to discuss their sex life. Quil had none to speak of as Claire was still growing up. Embry, then. He was a bit of a manwhore anyway, since he hadn't imprinted, so I guess he could at least talk me through the thing I wanted to do most to Nessie... (NB not involving humping her leg, promise). That thought had made me rock solid again. It wasn't really going well, this whole calming down effort. I couldn't even pee – I'd hit the fucking ceiling. It sounded quiet outside but I was terrified as I opened the door and crept out. I grabbed her notepad, TV on the Radio's _Return to Cookie Mountain_ and scrawled.

'Play track five while I'm gone – I've got to see Embry about some pack stuff. I'll pick you up at 7pm for something secret, so make an acoustic mix. I miss you already. Christ, look what an emo bitch you've turned me into.

I love Nessie,

Signed Jacob Black, age 13 ½, apparently.'

As soon as I was outside, I stripped off my sweats and phased. I needed to try and just be primal and basic and run and run and run. By the time I'd done a few fast circuits of the Vamp camp and raced back home to La Push, I was a helluva lot calmer. I pulled on my sweats in the clearing behind my house, wandered in and hugged my Dad, who was reading the sports pages in the kitchen. He raised an eyebrow at me. He'd seen the state I was in last night, pacing and terrified and a hair's breadth from charging over there and losing it at Edward.

'It's ok, Billy. Bella talked sense into him. Nessie's fine. We're fine.' I grinned like an idiot, but he smiled right back at me.

'Finally, you got that goddamn girl.' He started wheeling away into the kitchen. 'Don't fuck it up, son. She's far too good for you.'

'Way to be supportive, Dad', I whined, but he was right. I grabbed a banana from the kitchen, and stuffed it down my throat before heading off to the shower, calling after me down the hall. 'I'm going out to see Embry, then to the grocery store. If you want anything, write me a list.'

I was just throwing on some jeans, and combing my wet hair through with my fingers, when my phone beeped with Nessie's message tone, a chime, like her pretty laugh. I really was such a bitch.

'Nice choice of song, but when am I going to get to wake up next to you? :( Nse'

I checked the clock. It was 2:30pm. Wow. I guess we'd both been exhausted. I replied.

'In eighteen hours. But you've only got to wait 4 ½ hours for another kiss. Stop pouting. There are sex starved teens in India.'

'You like Embry's ass more than mine. Nse'

'I don't like anybody's anything more than yours.'

'So what do I wear tonight to our secret rendezvous? Sou'wester? Stilettos? Sackcloth? Nse'

'Swimsuit, then whatever else you like. Or nothing at all. You've got your wolf to keep you warm. Although he'd kind of prefer an intact nose, so if your Dad's around throw on a towel... ;)'

'Roger that. Am going to Leah's in a little bit to discuss girly things like guitar strings and bourbon. Try and make the day speed up, ok? You've got mad secret powers, maybe it'll work... Nse'

She sounded melancholy, and I almost ran back over there, but I knew Leah could cheer her up and I had lots of planning to do for tonight, not to mention how to control my ridiculous hormones.

'Ok, I'll do my best. Don't fall for any other boys while I'm gone, or I'll have to drink all the schnapps in the house and dance around to Shakira in my bra while crying.'

That seemed to help.

'You're so hot when you talk dirty. Over and out. Nse'

I pulled on a green checked shirt and called Embry. He said he was free and sounded sober, so I grabbed my Dad's list from the kitchen counter, yelled bye, and jumped in the Rabbit to head to his place. By the time I pulled up at the front door I realised I had absolutely no idea how to start the conversation. Em greeted me with a big hug anyway, and offered me a beer. I took it for the liquid courage and we sat down at his kitchen table. A thong hung off the spout of his kettle and I was suddenly very glad I wasn't drinking tea.

'So, I hear Mr Black finally got the girl!' He high fived me over the table, then seemed to drift into a reverie. 'Man... Nessie Cullen... how did you get a piece of _that_.'

I knew he was messing with me, but I couldn't help but take the bait. 'Embry, you want to keep your teeth, right?'

He grinned. 'Yessir.'

'Well then, I need help.'

Suddenly intrigued, he rested his chin on his elbows and raised an eyebrow.

'Well, we've been sleeping together.' He raised the other one. If I wasn't so tense it would have been funny. 'Not like that, just sleeping. But... every night I dream about her... like that, and I woke up this morning and she's all wound around me and it's the best thing in the world but... fuck... I have the most insane hard on and if she's around me like that it is not going to just go away and I've kind of had to leave her asleep twice now cos I have no idea what the hell to do about it. It's too soon for us to have sex, and I don't want her to feel pushed or uncomfortable, but... well... you've seen her and I love her so much and I can't stop myself wanting her... shit.'

Word vomit had just sort of exploded from my mouth, and Embry whistled slowly through his teeth.

'What if she saw or felt it and didn't mind? I mean, she's best friends with Leah, she must know what morning wood is: girl talks about her sex life like other people do the weather.'

I grinned a little. 'Well... yeah... maybe.'

'Dude, it's not going to go away. Literally and metaphorically.' He smirked at his own wit. 'And you'll hurt her feelings if you don't sleep with her, right?' I nodded. 'I mean, it's not like you don't have control – you're hardly going to jump her, are you? I'm sure the girl can deal with an erection.'

'So you think I just... talk to her?' It seemed too simple. Like there was something he wasn't seeing that was going to go horribly wrong.

'Mmhmm. Trust me, dude. Nessie loves you, and sooner or later she's going to love your cock, too.'

I grimaced. 'Nicely put.' He leaned back in his chair and grinned. 'So any other sexy dilemmas you got for the Dr on Call? See what I did there?' I rolled my eyes.

'Yes Embry.'

'Yes you see or yes you have more dilemmas?'

'Both.'

'Spill, then.' He encouraged, and his eyes softened a bit. He was actually pretty good at this, and I was suddenly goddamn glad he was my friend, even if he did probably have the clap.

'Ok, so there's something else that's been bothering me. Something I want to do to Ness, even more than actually having sex with her. And... I don't know how to do it and I want to so much it's driving me insane. It's pretty much all my dreams about her revolve around.'

Dr Call nodded sagely. 'You want to eat her out, don't you?'

'Embry! You have to say it like that?'

'I'm right though, aren't I?'

I nodded, sheepishly. Last night's dream had been particularly amazing, probably because of the proximity of Nessie... I'd imagined kissing up her thighs, licking her, making her scream. I was absolutely desperate to know what she looked like there, the colour of her hair, what she tasted like... it was like an addiction...

He ignored my reminiscing and carried on. 'It's a wolf thing, I think. Like, something really primal. I goddamn love doing it. Which is possibly one of the many, many reasons I'm such a hit with the female population of this wet little town.' He grinned, and I rolled my eyes. 'You're in for a treat, anyway, man. No two women taste the same and Nessie will no doubt taste just delic...' He stopped abruptly at my murderous look. 'Anyway! Basics. So, anatomy.'

He grabbed a notepad and pen. I hadn't realised this was going to involve a biology lesson, but what the hell. I concentrated as Embry drew an oval shape, then another inside it, then a little hooded nub just below the top. He pointed at it with his pen.

'This is the pay dirt.' He said, seriously. I almost giggled. 'The clitoris. It's basically as sensitive as the tip of your cock, maybe even more so, considering you've probably been beating off fifteen times a day for the past six months.'

'Shut up.'

He smirked at me, then continued with his learned doctor act. 'So, it's kind of almost too sensitive to really touch that much, you have to tease it, be gentle with it. Especially after she comes, cos then it'll be almost too much to even brush past. That's when you want to just blow on it really softly. They love that shit.'

He paused. 'Man, I'm getting turned on now. I'm gonna call Brandy later.'

I couldn't help but laugh. 'Anyway, the trick is constant, rhythmic movement and pressure. Don't go all over the goddamn place. Well, explore, to start with for sure, but once you get going, just keep running your tongue back and forth over the hood, here, not too hard, but not too soft either, just go with her cues.'

He jabbed his pen at the clitoris on the drawing again, and I almost expected him to label it 'Figure A' or something. I really hadn't been expecting such a... detailed description, but he was clearly an expert and the more I heard the more I couldn't wait to do it all to Nessie. If she'd let me.

'So, that covers the clit. Now, there's two types of lady orgasm.' He saw my surprised face and continued. 'Yeah, I know, they got it so good. Theirs last a lot longer too. Lucky bitches. Still, I guess they have the tits, so who am I to complain? Plus they have to put up with all the douchebags out there who can't be assed to really learn about a woman.'

I waited for him to stop ranting. 'Anyway, there's clitoris orgasms, then there's vaginal orgasms, and sometimes, if you stimulate both at the same time you can get them to a double orgasm, and then you might just get anything you want for at least the next twelve hours...'

He was losing track, his eyes glazing over, so I clicked my fingers in front of his nose. 'Embry? Concentrate. I really am trying not to think about your sex life right now.'

'Me too, brother, me too.' He exhaled. 'Nessie's a virgin, right?' I nodded, and blushed. He grinned evilly. 'And I see you are too. How adorable. Well, it'll be good to test the waters before jamming it in there then, so to speak.'

I grimaced for about the fifteenth time that day. I'd sort of thought that perhaps one of the reasons why I was so fixated on going down on Nessie was because I knew sex was going to hurt her, and that was so so so far from anything I could even contemplate doing. I was suddenly morose.

'Em... I can't hurt her... I don't want to...' He looked at me sheepishly.

'You... kind of have to... that's just how it works. Just try and make her feel as good as possible beforehand and go really, really slowly. Her on top works well if she's confident, cos then she can control it. And don't do it on white sheets.' The pained look on my face was obviously worse than I realised.

'Hey, hey, dude, it's really not that bad for girls. Hell, if it was agony, the human race would be a lot smaller. And if you're gentle and sweet, which I'm sure you goddamn will be cos you're utterly wrapped around her cute little finger, then she'll forgive you. Especially if you do this.'

He returned to his drawing and pointed at the bigger circle he'd sketched a little way below the clitoris. 'If you slowly slide in a couple of fingers while you're working on her clit, it'll feel amazing for her, plus it'll help to stretch things out a little while she's distracted. Then bend your fingers up as if you're beckoning her, on the inside front wall. Feel around and you should find a sort of fleshy lumpy bit. Sounds gross, but believe me, you'll appreciate it later when it's rubbing against your hard on.'

'Jesus Embry!'

'So, that's her g-spot. Stroke it, play with it, tease it. It is like unlocking the door to a world of her screaming your name and seriously considering anal.'

At that, I'd had enough. Maybe I was a fucking prude, and maybe if we'd have been talking about anyone else except Nessie I would have laughed, but he'd been warned enough times. I was very grateful to Embry, because now I reckoned I had a good chance of making her feel amazing, but seriously, I really did not need to hear anything else about where his cock had been, inspired by advice about Nessie. Just talking about her that way seemed disrespectful. Em seemed to get it, though.

'Ok, ok, too much, I know. I promise not to say anything else. I think I'm going to phrase and go for a very long run over to Miss Brandy's house. Bon chance, anyway, you lucky fucking bastard.'

I grinned at that, remembering Nessie's lips against my neck this morning. Yeah, I really was a lucky fucker. I thanked Dr Call, and left for the grocery store. I heard him dialling as I walked down the stairs from his apartment, and giggled to myself.

Now I just had to get through three more Nessie-deprived hours before I could see her again. Time to buy mangoes and limes and chocolate and Tequila. We were gonna have a picnic on the beach, and a midnight swim, and then maybe, if I was brave enough, we were gonna do something else.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Anyone who knows me will probably be laughing at my introduction of Leah's imprint, largely because he may or may not possess some features which I myself find kind of attractive. See: Raylan Givens. Also, I hated the way SM didn't ever give Leah a break from the pain she made her suffer through, so here's my attempt at giving her a happy ending. I'm a total fucking sap, I know. This'll be the only chapter written in a POV outside of Jake and Ness, but it felt right to do it.

**Chapter 11 - Leah's POV**

I woke up wrapped tightly in Texas' finest export and spent a few minutes just revelling in the feeling of his skin against mine, the soft, rhythmic sound of his breathing and the way our bodies fit like puzzle pieces. I was torn from my delicious meditation by the alarm clock going off and a gorgeous drawl sleepily saying, 'God be damned...' I rolled over and switched it off, before Nate pulled me gently back into his side, turning me so I was facing him. His heavy-lidded eyes looked adoringly back at mine and I marvelled again at the burst of love and lust and… connection that pulsed between us.

'Scratch that cursing,' he muttered, gently stroking my cheek, 'Good morning Lee.' I giggled like a teenager – he really wasn't a morning person at all, which I of course found totally adorable – and started kissing his chest, moving slowly down. 'Don't apologise, cowboy,' I grinned between kisses, 'I have an idea of how to drastically improve things.' I moved down under the covers, licking my lips and heard his muffled groans as I got started, his fingertips sliding into my hair.

After we'd run out all the hot water in the shower together, and he'd more than returned my morning favour, he finally had to go to work, and I had patrol. We reluctantly said goodbye by his patrol car, our kisses getting more and more heated, until we both acknowledged we had to stop. I rested my forehead against his cheek and he kissed my nose, his peppermint breath making my lips tingle.

'Tonight's a late shift, so do you want to come over to mine?' he asked, fishing in his back pocket for his motel key. He hadn't had a chance to find an apartment yet, and anyways we'd both hinted last night that maybe soon we'd rather just move in together.

'Yeah, that sounds good. I'll get us some beers and watch Lifetime while I wait. But you might come home to a blubbering mess, so be warned.' I teased.

He lifted my chin up with his fingertips, and I gazed into his hazel eyes.

'Does this mean you'll need some comfortin' then?' he drawled wickedly, knowing my weaknesses already. I melted my body into his and kissed him one final time.

'Go, now, before you have to report your own kidnapping.'

We both giggled, and he dropped his key into my hand before getting into his car and pulling away.

I phased quickly and stretched out, savouring the strength, before setting off at a sprint towards the vamp camp. After about ten minutes I was loping around the perimeter, sniffing the air for any signs of trouble, when Embry appeared in my head. He greeted me quickly… too quickly, and then tried to hide his thoughts by reciting baseball statistics. He'd been getting better at it lately, but it was always harder when you're… distracted, as he was right now, and I kept getting flashes of another conversation.

_'Em... I can't hurt her... I don't want to...'_

I stopped. That was Jake's voice in his mind, and suddenly I was worried. He could only be talking about one person. 'Embry?' I asked, trying to gauge what the hell had gone on. He was trying even harder now to hide things, and it was making me even more anxious, but bits and pieces kept slipping through.

_'It's a wolf thing, I think. Like, something really primal.'_I heard him say, then I heard _my_ name. _'What if she saw or felt it and didn't mind? I mean, she's best friends with Leah…'_

'EMBRY CALL.' I mentally shouted at him. 'What the hell is going on?' I could feel him cringing, but I was also a beta, and stronger than him. I didn't want to force him to tell me what was going on, but if it was about my best friend he'd better spit it out. He groaned, and opened his mind up to me, showing me the whole conversation. I couldn't help it. I started barking, then howling with laughter, tears running out of my eyes and down my grey fur.

'Yeah, yeah, Clearwater.' He said, annoyed. 'It's really, really funny.' I could hardly breathe, breaking down again every time I thought of Dr Call and his sex guidance clinic. Eventually I managed to regain control of myself, and told Embry it was sweet of him to give Jake some advice. He turned serious for a second.

'Do you think I was right? That he should just tell her about his… waking issue?' he asked.

'Yeah, definitely. Nessie is awesome. She won't freak.' I replied. 'Plus, she'll probably secretly love it. You know how much she obsesses over that boy.'

He chuckled, then added nervously. 'Alright, but you have to _promise_ me something? Do NOT tell Nessie. Jake will rip my tail off if he finds out you know.'

'It's ok,' I assured him. 'Your secret's safe with me, Call.'

I privately wondered for a moment whether to tell him about Nate, but decided to hold back. Nessie had to be the first to properly know about him. We said goodbye then – his horny ass hightailing it over to some girl called Brandy – and I completed my circuits and headed home.

Ness was sitting on the tree branch outside my room when I got back, looking pensive and a little melancholy and I called up to her.

'Yo! Cullen! Be up in a second.' She grinned down at me, and I ran inside and up into my room to open the window to her. 'What's up, Red?' I asked as she ducked inside and shook some leaves from her mop of bronze ringlets. 'No Jake.' She pouted. 'Don't like it.' She stuck out her bottom lip like a five year old and I couldn't help but giggle.

'He keeps leaving, Lee. Like, we've slept together – well, not like that, but you know – twice now, but he's always gone when I wake up. He leaves really cute notes for me but I want _him_.' She walked over to my stereo and put on some Hank Williams – her depressive music – while I was briefly distracted by memories of waking this morning in Nate's delicious embrace. Focus Leah, I told myself. I knew why Jake wasn't hanging around but… how do I explain things without breaking my promise to Embry? He'd look so lame tailless. Shit.

'Look, Ness, Jake is an alpha – he's busy a lot… I'm sure he doesn't _want_ to leave you.' I tried, knowing that my pathetic attempt at excusing him was never going to work. Nessie was ridiculously clever like her advanced program Mom and stubborn as hell like her Dad. She was also pretty good at wheedling things out of me. I decided to cut my losses.

'Nessie… if I had an idea of why Jake hasn't stayed and I could tell you for sure that it had absolutely nothing to do with him not liking you or anything like that, would you believe me and drop it?'

She stared at me wide eyed and I realised I'd made the wrong decision.

'Leah! Tell me right now!' She rounded on me. 'Or I'll… I'll… tell Embry you want to do him! Or put salt in all your hidden bourbon bottles! Or cut off your hair in the night! Or tell your Mom you've got Astroglide in your bedside table!'

'Ok, ok! Jesus, Ness. Sit down.' She reluctantly sat cross legged on my rug on the floor and turned those big melty chocolate eyes on me, giving me her best puppy dog stare.

'So…' I started, stalling, trying to work out how the hell to explain. 'Jake is in love with you. And… he also finds you… very attractive.' She blushed crimson then and I remembered just how innocent she actually was. No wonder Jake was bolting. 'Well, when guys like girls they, yunno, have a reaction. Down there. And it often happens in the morning. And it can be kind of embarrassing.'

She was absolutely pink now, and was staring at her fingers. 'Ok… So Jake has… in the morning… and he doesn't want to freak me out?' She'd said it so quietly no human could possibly have heard her. I smiled at her gently.

'Yeah Ness. Like everything Jake ever does, I'm sure he's just trying to protect you… to make sure you don't feel weird or embarrassed or pressured with him.' She grinned at that, and looked up at me.

'I wouldn't mind, you know. Like… it's just a part of Jake's body. And it's natural, it's not weird at all. And I know he'd never push me into anything… I wish he'd stay…'

'Ness, just make sure you wake up first next time. And tell him what you just told me.' I patted her hands, twisted together in her lap, and she brightened.

'So, now that you've solved my woes, tell me about your Texan stud!' She giggled, probably quite eager to change the subject. As soon as she mentioned Nate, my head was gone, but she broke me out of my reverie.

'Oi! Don't make that face, it's so wrong!' she moaned, and I realised I must have looked ridiculous. I turned to look at her and knew it in my heart as I said it out loud for the first time.

'I imprinted, Nessie. Nate's the one – he's my imprint. To say I'm in love with him doesn't seem to cover it.'

She looked confused for a second, her eyes narrowing slightly. 'What's an imprint? Is that like a Native term?' I gasped, realising Jake hadn't told her… I was sure he must have… shit. She latched on to my silence. 'Leah… what's an imprint?' she repeated, a little more animatedly, 'is it a wolf thing?'

I nodded, staring at her forehead, trying not to look into her eyes. I was going to have to explain, but it felt so wrong. Jake should be the one to tell her. I decided to hint at it and see if she realised herself.

'Wolves have this thing where sometimes they're lucky enough to find someone who's their mate. Their soulmate. It's like the stars and the earth shifts, and everything is then about that other person. Their happiness, welfare, every breath they take: the wolf's life is totally dedicated to their imprint. And the imprint feels the same – after all, they've got someone who is utterly in love with them, who is their perfect complement. I imprinted on Nate as soon as I saw him, and he said he felt drawn to come here, for me.'

She looked horrified. All she could mutter was 'Jake…' over and over. I opened my mouth to explain the rest when suddenly she sprang up and dived out of my window, pelting off into the forest so fast she was a blur of bronze and cream. My stomach dived. She mustn't have realised Jake was her imprint. Or maybe she did and it was just freaking her out. Either way this wasn't good. I paced my room, trying to work out what the hell to do. Jake was going to be so so mad with me, but there wasn't another option. He had to know what had happened.

I launched myself out the window, scampered down the tree and phased, racing to his house as fast as I could run.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Just to warn you, this chapter starts off in Jake's POV, then moves to Nessie's.

**Chapter 12 – Jake's POV**

When Leah arrived at my door I was putting away the supplies for tonight in the fridge, my dad laughing as I bounced around the kitchen emptying the bags and singing Johnny Cash songs. I'd already hidden the bottle of tequila in my room wrapped in a blanket – my Dad loved Nessie like his own daughter and it probably wasn't the best idea to make him think I was trying to ply her with hard liquor. I wasn't trying to ply her with hard liquor. I kept telling myself that anyway. I am such a punk.

I'd bought all Nessie's favourite food; tortilla chips and salsa, strawberries and peanut butter cups, as well as limes for the booze. It was a lovely, warm evening so I thought we could go for a swim, and then eat and talk and drink and just be. I'd decided I was going to let Nessie dictate the physical side of things – her pace was plenty fast enough for me, and as long as I could somehow have the conversation with her about my morning… problem, I was sure we'd be okay. She had to know that whatever she decided about how far she wanted to go was fine – I was going to make that clear.

Leah's arrival was unexpected, but I grabbed her up in a big hug anyway. I felt like nothing was going to ruin my mood. Because I'm a fucking idiot. Her face was marred with worry and as I let her go and registered her expression the Alpha in me came charging out.

'Leah, what's wrong?' She shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. I began to get a little frantic, and grabbed her hand to drag her into my room.

'Leah – first tell me Nessie is ok, then tell me what is wrong.'

She took too long to answer. My heart seemed to pause and she must have sensed the oncoming world of shit I was about to descend into unless she told me right now what was going on. In a very small voice, she said three words which simultaneously calmed me and sent my mind spiralling.

'Imprinting. She knows.'

I tried to breathe. Nessie was okay. But she knew what imprinting was? She knew I'd imprinted on her? Or what? Thankfully, Leah continued.

'I told her I'd imprinted – on that Texan cop that's transferred here to work under Charlie.' She paused, seemingly going off into some goddamn dream world, presumably filled with grits, double wides and high-fucking-heeled boots. I brought the Alpha tone out in my voice again.

'Leah! What. Happened. With. Nessie.'

'Well, she asked me what imprinting was, so I explained… I didn't realise you hadn't already told her… which, by the way, you're an asshat for. Then she took off. She just mumbled your name and took off.'

I sat down on my bed and rested my head in my hands, elbows on my knees.

'Fuck.'

'Yeah.' She answered. 'Jake… I'm so sorry. I honestly didn't realise. Hell, you know I never would have told her if I knew. You know how much I love Ness.'

I knew. I'd been in Leah's head enough to times over years of patrolling, and I'd witnessed first hand their growing friendship – how Leah had been like a big sister, an escape route, a confidante, a fierce protector and a best friend to Ness. This wasn't really Leah's fault…

'I guess you have no idea where she's gone, do you?' I said, trying to sound as gentle as possible.

'Nope...'

I let out a long breath. 'Ok, help me out here Leah. What is Nessie thinking, right now?'

She pursed her lips for a beat, before licking them nervously and beginning.

'Well, there's two options. First, she's worked out you imprinted on her from how I described it and is trying to work out how she feels about it. She might have just been freaked out about it, and wants to get it straight in her head, what it means for the both of you.'

I nodded, but still, that didn't feel like Ness. She can be so goddamn self-deprecating sometimes – she seems to genuinely have no idea how utterly incredible she is. It seemed wrong to me that she'd just immediately assume I'd imprinted on her. Leah continued, anyway.

'The second is that Nessie is… worried that you and her will… end up like me and Sam.'

I swallowed hard. Yeah, that was Nessie.

'Jesus… she thinks I'll imprint on someone else and then ditch her. She must be going through hell.'

I bit my bottom lip, trying to pull myself from morose musing and into action, running through scenarios in my head. What would Nessie do? Go home? Run away? As I thought of that option, I felt Leah's hand on my arm, and a trickle of salty, rusty taste in my mouth. I realised I'd bitten through my lip.

'It'll be ok, Jake.'

I stood up. I had no idea where the hell Nessie was. But we were meeting in less than an hour – or we were supposed to be – and anyway she often went to the beach to think. I decided to keep our date. If she showed – and I prayed she would – I was going to explain everything, and hope to god that she could deal with it, if not right away, then in time. If she didn't, well, I couldn't really stop trying. I was imprinted, it didn't leave a lot of room for free will. I licked my bloody lip to seal it up, and grabbed the bottle of tequila from under my bed, twisting off the cap and taking a sip. It stung like hell, which was oddly helpful, concentrating my thoughts.

'Leah, can you go home? Maybe she'll come back to yours. I'm going to go down to the beach.' She nodded, a god-awful, pitying look in her eyes, and I set off. I didn't have food, or blankets, or music, just a bottle of hard liquor and myself. I hoped to god it was enough.

**Nessie's POV**

I tried to breathe in time to the waves, pacing back and forth on the sand. I tried not to think about how each breath was about three seconds long, which would be three seconds less than I had with Jake. So fucking emo. It was still more than half an hour till we were supposed to meet here. In the time since I'd left Leah's, I'd run about three hundred circles around La Push, thinking frantically, selfishly, about how I could try and make Jake stay with me, until I knew that I could never do that to him. Once he imprinted, he would have to leave me, and I shouldn't try to stop him. I looked down at my clothes and choked back a slightly hysterical laugh. As if a somewhat deranged, extremely dishevelled and sweaty half vampire could best an imprint. Well, that and the thought of depriving him physically pained me. His scent drifted towards me, then, and I thought I really must be losing it. I was starting to smell him even when he wasn't there, now. Great. Psychosis.

As two huge, warm hands wrapped around me from behind I almost screamed, but Jake's voice in my ear slowed my frantic heart just enough. I breathed his scent in deeply, filling my lungs with it, letting it dizzy my poor, hurting mind out of its agony for just a little while. As I said, fucking emo. He slipped around to face me, and I saw my own pain reflected in his dark eyes. I couldn't hold back, and fixed my stare on the bottle of tequila he'd just dropped, wedged at a slope in the silvery sand.

'Jacob. I know about imprinting and I need you to know that, as pathetic and pitiable as it sounds, I have to be with you as long as I can, until it happens, until the very second. Then I can let you go, I promise I can. But till then…' I broke off, sobs choking my throat. I dragged my eyes up to Jake's face, terrified by what I'd see there, but he caught my lips in his, shocking me from my descent into tears, before resting our foreheads together.

'Nessie, I imprinted six years ago. The day I first saw you. I looked at you and the rest of the world… blurred around the edges. You're the only thing that's ever really in sharp focus, Ness. You're my imprint. And I am so sorry I didn't tell you before.'

'You... are... why… why didn't you tell me?' I muttered, stunned, shrinking out of his arms and almost falling backwards into the sand.

His mouth gaped a little. I guess this wasn't the response he'd been expecting.

'Ness… I talked it over with your family and we all thought-'

Six years... six years of lies by omission... from everyone I cared about in the world... I lost it.

'My FAMILY KNEW? My whole life? They all knew and they were just waiting… for what? For me to be old enough to fall in love with you?'

I remembered something then - something my Mom'd said when she'd found out Jake and I were together… "The two of them are... meant to be". Fuck. I felt so betrayed and humiliated. I mean, I knew my family seemed to spend all their time monitoring my every move – I actually stuck a picture of my Dad next to the definition of 'overreact' in his dictionary once just to piss him off, which Jake had thought was hilarious – but they'd not just been watching over me, they'd been… waiting. Trying to control me was one thing, but knowing my future before me – Alice aside – and lying about it? I felt sick.

I wrenched my eyes up to Jake. He looked mad. Ok, mad might have been an understatement.

'Do you even want to know why I told them not to tell you?'

'YOU decided it?'

'Yes, Nessie, I decided it and they agreed with me.'

I stared at the ground, pouting like a kid now that the initial shock had worn off, but still fuming.

'Well, do you? Do you want to know?'

He waited for an answer I wasn't going to give, so carried on anyway.

'Because I had to give you a fucking choice, Renesmee. Because I couldn't have you growing up thinking you had to follow some stupid ancient wolf thing to me. I wanted you to fall in love with whoever you wanted to fall in love with, universe be fucking damned, and your family – especially Blondie – was very pleased with that arrangement. And I could already see you would spend your whole goddamn life wrapped up in cotton wool, only allowed to do what they deemed safe, and I wasn't going to be another certainty for you – something else that corralled your choices. I didn't tell them that, of fucking course.'

He exhaled hard, nostrils flaring, eyes dark as ink.

'But if you want to hate me, hate me. If I made the wrong decision, then I am so sorry. All I was trying to do, always, was the best thing for you. And I'm sorry you found out the way you did… I should have told you as soon as we kissed.'

His eyes unfocussed, staring blankly out over the waves, and his voice was gentle.

'But you're my imprint, Ness, and I will always love you, no one but you, until the day I die.'

My eyes dragged along the tense tendons in his jaw and across the line of his pursed lips, full and red even like this.

'Jake…' I said quietly. 'I'm sorry I yelled. I'm sorry. I just… today was… Christ I was terrified, so terrified I'd lose you… and…'

He held his hands out, almost as if he was asking me if I wanted to touch him. I threw myself at him, encircling his waist with my arms and fiercely holding on, squeezing my eyes shut. He chuckled softly, one huge hand stroking up and down my back in the most deliciously soothing way, while the other held me tightly to him. I felt his warm breath in my hair and shuddered at the pleasure of it as I tried to get my seemingly clueless brain around everything I now knew, resetting my world with these new angles and perspectives, rules and truths. I peeked up quickly, and he pulled back so he could look at me.

'There's no more secrets, right? You're not going to turn into a pumpkin at thirty, and I'm not really an English princess or something, am I? This is it?'

He laughed softly and kissed the top of my head.

'No, Nessie, no no no. There is nothing else about me or you that you don't already know. Nothing. Oh, except I actually really hate dill pickles. I only ate them cos you said they were the best condiment ever invented.' I raised an eyebrow. 'Oh, and I really dislike Morrissey's solo stuff.' I opened my mouth to argue, but he covered it with a kiss, and I let myself melt into him, exhausted.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Ok, so here's the start of the first fan fic lemon I ever wrote. Eeeep!

**Chapter 13 – Nessie's POV**

My fingers slid from the soft short hair at the nape of Jake's neck to stroke along the muscles which arched out to the tips of his shoulders. I'd never really had a favourite place on Jake – hell, have you _seen_the man? It's goddamn hard to choose – but his shoulders would definitely make the top ten. I could feel the tense tendons relax at my touch, and I ran my hands back up and into his hair, moulding my body to his.

We fit like jigsaw pieces; was that the imprint, too? I'd always wondered why I was almost as tall as Dad – more like Aunt Rosalie's height than my mom's, even though we weren't related – and it suddenly occurred to me then that maybe Jake wasn't just made for me, maybe I was made for him, too. Despite the insanity of it, it seemed to make sense. Although, sense was something that was slowly departing as I felt Jake's tongue slide along my top lip. I moaned a little as mine reached out to meet his. I was really going to have to watch this at home, although it wasn't exactly fair. Who could really begrudge me a few indiscreet vocalisations when I had to cope with seven feet of ridiculously ripped, dark eyed, pouty lipped, sexy-as-hell soulmate?

Speaking of said sexy-as-hell soulmate, I copied his licks, running my tongue back and forth along his bottom lip when suddenly... he tasted different. Saltier and sweeter at the same time. I made another pass, as the realisation dawned on me: Jake had bit his lip. It mustn't have healed completely. This flavour was... his blood. And it was the most delicious thing I'd ever tasted. Almost of their own volition, my lips pursed around the cut, sucking his lip into my mouth and encouraging the quickening flow.

The blood slid thickly down my throat like a caress. Brief flashes of my true nature assaulted my mind's eye, but not at all how I'd expected. I was terrified for a second that I'd want to rip the cut into a gash and drain Jake dry, but that wasn't it at all. I mean, I knew vampires were... active... with their mates. Each different set of lovers in my family had, at some point, grossed me out with some variation on the same routine. But this taste... it was changing my mind. I was starting to feel a hell of a lot more forgiving about what I'd termed their previously ridiculous cravings. Drinking Jake's blood from his full, red lips had unleashed the vampire in me and I could hardly work out which I wanted more – his blood or his body. I just couldn't hold back. I grabbed the top button of his shirt, desperate to strip him of it and feel the skin of his chest on mine. I could feel him grin against my lips and we briefly broke apart, foreheads resting together, as I clumsily finished and pushed the shirt off his shoulders. His broad, tan chest cast its own shadows in the growing moonlight, the ridges of his stomach, the curves of his collarbones, catching the glow or darkening in angles. I looked up. His eyes were closed, his long, black eyelashes resting against his cheeks. His lips were dark and swollen from the cut and the kisses, contrasting beautifully with the strong line of his jaw. Christ... he was perfect. Our mouths were so close, when he exhaled I breathed in, the citrusy sting of tequila on his breath adding to the scent of his blood... I almost shuddered, squeezing my legs together and lacing my fingers on his neck to draw him in closer.

'I want you, Jacob. Now. Here.' I whispered, my lips brushing his, painting blood across both of our mouths.

He took a deep, laboured breath.

'Ness... are you sure? We don't... I mean... all of this should be at your pace. I can go just as slow as you-'

I actually growled, pressing my mouth over his to stop any more speculation. I felt myself lift up before shifting sand cushioned my body. He kissed me back with urgency, his tongue almost battling mine as I felt his hips press into me. I moaned in response - he felt _so fucking good_ on top of me, and as he left my lips to cover my neck with kisses, I couldn't help but tell him so. His response was to lick from my clavicle to my earlobe, and I cried out, my body singing from his touch. He slowly brought his hands upwards from my waist and I felt my nipples harden in anticipation of his fingertips. He paused on my ribs, pulling away to sit on his heels and earning a reproachful glance. He chuckled, before taking holding of the hem of my t-shirt and raising his eyebrows, reverting to the soft-hearted man I knew.

'Ness, is this ok? I don't want you to feel pressured, ever, we can stop whenever, no matter what you said or did before, if you change your mi-'

I sat up and pulled my shirt over my head before he even finished the sentence. I was just wearing a white lace bra, nothing special – I'd managed to get out of Aunt Alice's shopping trips as soon as she became resigned to the fact that my personal fashion icon was Kelley Deal – but Jake's eyes darkened anyway. I took his huge hands in mine, brought them back to where they'd been on my ribs, and lay back, flashing him what I hoped was an irresistibly seductive smile. With a very cute sense of wonder, Jake slid his hands up until he was softly cupping my breasts. I was struck by how they seem to fit into his palms as if they'd been designed to, and as his thumbs stroked over my nipples, even through the lace, I couldn't help but close my eyes and arch my back towards his touch. It quickly wasn't enough, though, and I buried the little, self conscious voice in my head and reached behind me to unhook my bra and pull it away. Jake's eyes practically bugged out of his head and I couldn't help but giggle, as I took his hands again and pulled them back to me.

'God, Ness...' he whispered, reverently. 'You're so beautiful...' Without the lace barrier, with just his fingertips and palms caressing me, I was lost, but when he lowered his head and took a nipple in his mouth, swirling with his tongue I couldn't help but moan out. I threaded my fingers into his hair to hold him to me, my breath shaky. It felt like every movement of his mouth sent a spark racing down and down... He moved to my other breast, lavishing it with the same worshipful attention, and I let the sand hold me up as I lay there, just feeling for a moment.

But this wasn't just about me. I reluctantly tugged on Jake's hair after he'd spent plenty of time sucking and playing and he looked up, a sort of dazed expression on his face. I almost giggled again, but pushed him back into the sand at my side, and rolled over to straddle him. He pulled me down for a kiss which I eagerly accepted, our mouths having been too long apart, but I pulled back moments later, trying to ignore the delicious slide of my wet nipples across his chest, and sat up just below his hips. I looked down, expecting to see evidence of, uh, our situation, but even feeling him through our clothes didn't quite prepare me for the sight. I unzipped his jeans and slowly pulled them down, swallowing quickly at the sight of the hardness in his boxers. I slid my fingertips under the waist and pulled them gently down too. It was my turn to do the bug eye thing. I don't know what I'd thought I'd see. I mean, everything about Jake was huge but... goddamn.

He obviously sensed the shock in my eyes, because he started repeating his earlier statements of how we didn't have to do anything, but I could hardly hear him. I couldn't stop looking at his hips and... what was between them. I reached out and stroked his length gently, carefully, surprised by the silky softness of his skin. I bent down, and kissed the head, then planted kisses slowly down the shaft and back up again. I realised Jake had stopped talking. He was staring at me, transfixed, hardly even breathing, his mouth producing little growls with every touch of my lips. I smiled naughtily, before swiping my tongue over the head, tasting a similar salty sweetness to his blood. Like then, I was suddenly desperate for more, and took him deeply into my mouth, exploring the ridges of veins and the silky skin with my tongue while I let my hands free to stroke Jake's thighs and stomach. His breathing seemed to shudder from his lips, and I heard him grown loudly, then growl as my tongue probed further down. He caught my shoulders in his hands and I looked up, a little bemused by the sudden movement.

'Ness, uh... I'm not going to... um... last long... if you keep doing that...'

I felt oddly proud, but blushed and crawled back up his body for a kiss. He eagerly responded, pulling me down on top of him, and wrapping me tightly in his arms before rolling us over. It was his turn now to take off the last of my clothes, and he made short work of my skirt, tugging it down over my knees and making me giggle, before checking he had my permission to slide my panties down my legs. The self conscious voice reared its annoying head again as I lay utterly naked in the sand beneath Jake, but his awed stare seemed to calm me.

'Nessie, I have never seen... you're so...' He swallowed, and shook his head a little, as if he was emerging from water. 'You are... perfect.' I felt myself flush, my heart almost hurting, but I couldn't break eye contact with my beautiful Jacob. The love seemed to flow between us, and as our lips connected I felt electricity flare through our blood-laced kisses. It was time. This was it. I couldn't have stopped myself if I tried.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** A massive thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter - you all gave me so much love that I just had to write the other side... I hope this is ok. I've let Jake take over from where Ness left off. Any comments on what you think gratefully received! :)

**Chapter 14 - Jake's POV**

I slid back on my heels in the soft sand trying to actually accept the sight in front of me. Nessie was lying there, her eyes bright, her lips red and stained, her long, thick, bronze curls circling her head like a halo. Her breasts shuddered as she took in a gasped breath.

'Nessie, I have never seen... you're so...'

I shut my eyes for a second and swallowed. I knew there was no way I could think straight with Ness right there like that. I tried to repeat to myself everything Embry had told me, but found my brain utterly scrambled as Nessie's scent got stronger. I shook my head, trying to clear it, before finding her gaze again. I knew what I wanted to say.

'You are... perfect.'

She blushed, the pinkish tinge creeping across her collarbones, but she didn't break eye contact. I _had_ to kiss her. As our lips met electricity flowed between us, as if the charge that made her heart beat was earthing through mine. I'd never experienced anything like this. Lying, naked with my imprint; the universe was slotting into place.

I pulled back slowly, letting our swollen lips stay connected for as long as I possibly could before ghosting kisses along her neck, then down the curve between her breasts, to her stomach. The muscles tightened a little under my mouth as I touched her navel with my tongue and drew a line down. Her scent was so strong that every breath I took felt like it was thick with smoke. It was musk and honey and vanilla and _dear God I wanted to taste it_.

'Jake... If you're not sure you don't have... I mean...'

I almost growled. My head was clouded with lust. The entire pack probably couldn't have dragged me away from where I was right then and there and... Nessie wasn't sure if I wanted her? I looked up and caught her worried expression, trying to diffuse it with a ridiculously huge grin. It seemed to work. She took a deep breath and laid her head back in the sand, giggling slightly.

I slid my fingertips down her stomach and to her thighs stroking the soft skin and gently pushed her legs open just a little. Her breathing hitched. So did mine. I traced the edge of her reddish curls with my nose, placing kisses into the soft hair, letting it caress my mouth. My tongue found the top of her slit and I gently slid it inside. She gasped, opening her thighs a little further. I couldn't help but smile like a fool, as I explored deeper, finally tasting that luscious scent. I slipped my fingers down her thighs stroking them and encouraging them to part a little wider until finally they'd opened enough for me to shift between them.

As much as I really didn't want to be thinking of Embry in this moment, as I saw Nessie's clit for the first time I couldn't help but offer him a little silent thanks. Of course, she matched his diagram. I could do this. I brushed any sand from my fingers and gently opened her lips a little more, my head suddenly swimming from the sharper, stronger scent. I was utterly lost. I couldn't even try to hold back and buried my face between her legs, exploring every inch of her with my tongue. Her answering moan was _so_ fucking sexy. I held her hips to me as I encircled her clit with my tongue, lapping carefully and slowly over the hood. Then Ness swore. Loudly. And it was ridiculously hot.

'Fuck! Jacob Black you... how... oh God that is so good...'

She squirmed under my mouth and I reduced the pressure a little, before pulling back a little and blowing softly over her swollen clit, eliciting more cursing. I briefly glanced down at myself. I didn't actually think it was possible to be any harder. I could probably chop logs with that thing right now. Grinning, I brought my right hand around and slowly started to slide a finger inside her. I felt her barrier pretty quickly so I pulled back and concentrated on tickling her opening with my fingertips as I returned my tongue to her clit, moving faster this time. One of Ness's hands grasped my hair as the other palmed her breasts. Her breathing was speeding up. Her eyes were closed, a frown marring her brow as she concentrated, her mouth open, lips glistening. She was stunning.

Abruptly, I felt her begin to twitch and convulse under my fingers, and her gasped breaths turned into moans, which turned into throaty growls, with my name thrown in between a string of curses and incomprehensible yells. It was the sexiest sound I had ever heard and inspired a moment of clarity – Nessie, my Nessie, was lying underneath me, crying out as I made her come with my tongue. I mean, I felt like I might give myself a fucking medal or trophy or something. I probably wasn't going to stop grinning for a week.

As Ness quieted, I did as Embry instructed and slowed my tongue and fingers, caressing her as if she was made of glass, before licking my fingers and transferring my lips to her stomach, softly kissing up her trembling body. I couldn't take my eyes from her face. Her lips were parted just slightly, the corners turned up into a sweet, utterly satisfied smile. As her eyelids fluttered open our eyes met and a shy look overtook her openly pleasured expression. I wanted to make it disappear. If I could help it, Nessie would never, ever feel guilty about her reactions to anything we did together. I scooted up her body and took her lips in mine, ridiculously turned on by the thought that she was tasting herself.

She kissed me back hard and as our bodies shifted together I realised I was settled between her legs. The urge to push forward was utterly encompassing, but just as I was trying to fight it, Nessie broke down any last remnant of control, as she pulled her lips from mine and muttered, 'Jake, I want you inside me, now.'

I edged into her, feeling her barrier stop me quickly. She kissed me forcefully.

'I know. I know it'll hurt. Just do it.'

She was always so fucking brave. I cringed, and pushed forward. The tension in Nessie's jaw was awful. I could see how much pain she was expecting. Then with one quick thrust I was through, and buried deep inside her. The intense pleasure was cut off as soon as it started as I saw tears run down her eyes into the sand and heard a soft sob escape her lips. I froze inside her, and kissed her wet cheeks gently, murmuring over and over again how sorry I was.

She opened her eyes and smiled weakly.

'Man, am I glad that part is over.'

We both laughed, and I pushed my arms through the sand until they were properly around her, hugging her tightly to me.

'I love you Nessie. I love you so much. I'm so sorry I hurt you.'

She buried her face into my shoulder and hugged me back.

As we lay still the guilt at the pain I'd caused her ebbed a little, and I was finding it harder and harder to ignore how fucking incredible it felt to be inside her. She was so tight and wet and hot and... damn. It was taking a Herculean effort to force my hips to stay exactly where they were. I mean, I wasn't going to do anything until she gave me the okay, no matter how much I wanted to slide slowly out and then nudge my way back inside, feeling every ridge and curve inside her rubbing wetly over my shaft... I gritted my teeth.

Eventually, she pulled back, kissed my forehead and then squirmed a little underneath me. Presumably satisfied that didn't hurt too much, she looked up.

'Jake, could you try moving a little?'

My penis did a little happy dance, and I carefully slid back, watching her face intensely. She grimaced a little bit, but once I was out she seemed to relax.

'Ok, try again.'

I took a deep breath and pushed very gently back inside her. With every movement she seemed to relax, and I decided maybe some distraction would help. I bent my head and took a nipple in my mouth, sucking it gently and licking it with my tongue. I figured this way she could easily tell me to stop if she needed to, plus, yunno, I got a nipple in my mouth. Ness didn't tell me to stop, however. In fact, a quiet moan escaped her lips. Quietly high fiving my penis, I switched breasts and let myself go a little bit more and just feel. Nessie was writhing below me, beginning to meet my thrusts and sweet zombie Jesus the girl felt so so _so good_.

I knew after everything we'd done I wasn't going to last very long, so I propped myself up on one elbow, and slid my other arm between us to massage her clit. As my fingertips touched her she arched her back and cried out. It was almost too much for me. I tried to grasp onto anything even vaguely unsexy, but making love to Nessie wasn't really conducive – even dead kittens just brought me back to the kittenish sounds falling from her plump, soft lips as she gasped my name. As I felt her begin to spasm and clamp down I let my orgasm overtake me.

We held onto each other, whimpering and hollering. My Ness was... everything. Perfect. I barely heard myself crying out her name amid growls and yells as the best feeling I'd ever had pulsed and throbbed through me.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **I want to thank every person who's read this story and all the reviewers, too. It was my first one, and despite its many faults I've developed a bit of a soft spot for it. It wasn't ever going to be long - I just wanted to explore the weirdness/tension around Nessie discovering her feelings for Jake and then finally having them requited, something Stephenie has now said she might revisit... what do you all think of that?

**Chapter 15 - Nessie's POV**

Ok, so having unprotected sex with Jake? Yeah, not one of my best ideas. I don't think I could regret it for even a second, though. I didn't when my dad started throwing furniture (Mom hit him over the head with the arm of the sofa and told him to stop being a baby), or through the excruciating "will condoms melt on a wolf's penis?" debate between Emmett and Carlisle. The latter's interest, he assured me, was entirely scientific, and resolved when it was Googled (seriously - dear Lord) and discovered latex melts at 250 degrees, so we should be fine with Trojans. The red on my face didn't fade for a week afterwards.

I didn't get pregnant, though, and Jake said he had a theory about that. We were lying in his narrow bed a few nights later, me on my back, him on his side, stroking my stomach lazily and dropping kisses on my nose, cheeks, lips, eyes, hair...

"I think maybe it's the imprint, you know?"  
I frowned, unsure of where he was going with this.  
"It knows it's not the right time to have babies, so... you won't get pregnant."  
I narrowed my eyes.  
"Is this an attempt to get out of wearing-"  
"No!" He cut me off. "No, God no, I would never do that. We have sex on your terms, Ness, always."  
I reached up to stroke the scruff on his chin. I'd been a week since he'd phased and it always grew in a little. I kind of liked it. Especially how it scratched my inner thighs...  
"I just think that there's probably a lot around imprinting that isn't controllable and isn't conscious. That we won't even discover for years, maybe."

I didn't want to ask the next question, but I did anyway. If I kept things to myself, Jake always seemed to know - something that had gotten much, much stronger since we'd been properly together.  
"What if we can't, though?"  
Jake looked exceptionally sad for a moment.  
"You mean, we can't have puppies?"  
I giggled, and picked up a pillow to hit him in the face. He grabbed me round the waist and rolled onto his back, pulling me on top of him.  
"Aww, Ness, it'll be sad, but there's always kids who need a good home. Look at how Esme and Carlisle have ended up. And she never hits him with bedding."  
I leaned down to kiss him instead. Damn wolfy logic.  
"Carlisle behaves."  
Jake pouted, and then flipped us over, so he was hovering above me. His hips ground into mine and the heat... _fuck... _it was delicious...  
"You _really_want me to behave?"

A few weeks after that, Jake got a job at the local mechanics shop in the centre of the Rez (he was basically perpetually grease-smeared and grinning), and we moved into a little bungalow close to the Clearwater's. I'd wanted to move out of home for a while and leave mom and dad to their... uh... activities, but mostly I needed Jake to myself.

Our place was small - with two bedrooms, a bathroom, kitchen and living room, but it had garage space for Jake's projects, and I could run my little label from the second bedroom, which I decorated with band posters and fairy lights. Learning about living away from home took a while, especially when neither of us had vampire speed or strength. Who knew hairs built up in the shower's plughole? Not me, apparently. I quickly blamed the only fur-covered member of the household. Jacob said I was being wolfist, and sulked till I made him a tray of brownies.

A couple of months after we moved in, we finally got around to tidying up the garden. I was planting bulbs and weeding in our little flower bed while Jake cut the lawn and made a bonfire out front with all the extra twigs and branches he'd collected.

"I believe, madam," he announced on finishing, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind, "that we have a croquet lawn." I turned around, dropping the trowel and gloves at my feet and smiled at the little square patch of green behind our house. It led right into the woods, which surrounded the house on three sides. All the wolves who'd left home had gone for more... secluded places to live, for obvious reasons, and we were no exception. I wrapped my arms around Jake's waist and learned in to kiss his collarbones. He smelled like sweat and cut grass. It was fucking delicious.

I rose up on my toes and spoke into his ear. "Stop marking the area with your manly scent, and take me for a shower."

Before I had a chance to move he'd grabbed me and hoisted me over his shoulder. I screamed, then bit his ass, which he'd handily dangled me right in front of. He yelped, and put me back on my feet, but we both stumbled with the headrush, and collapsed in a giggling heap on the grass.

Lying on the spongy lawn, Jake pulled me to him and kissed me with an intensity that made my stomach dance. I kissed him back with equal fervour, straddling him and cradling his head above the ground in my hands. As his tongue pushed into my mouth I moaned and ground my hips into his. Fuck indoors, I wanted him right here - I could feel the wetness starting to slicken my inner thighs as his hard body pressed up into mine. Still, that was hardly unusual. Jake just had to be breathing to turn me on, and since that day on the beach (when I'd learned several lessons, including sand being not so much fun in certain places) we'd had plenty of practice.

I reached down and stroked his cock through his cut offs - he let his head fall back, his eyes closed and his mouth open just a little as he hissed at the sensation. Good God, he was beautiful. I licked up his naked chest as I rubbed his erection, biting gently at each nipple and running my tongue over the ridges of muscle.

"Nessie," Jake growled, "take your fucking clothes off."  
The imprint in me was joyous as I pulled my t-shirt (Dinosaur Jr) over my head. I hadn't put on a bra - I wasn't exactly well endowed, and I didn't need to wear one all the time. Jacob's eyes widened dramatically as he sat up, quickly taking one of my nipples in his mouth and mutter something with sounded like "fuck... tits... love..."

I grinned and shut my eyes, a gasp pushing through my lips as his tongue tugged and licked my nipples hard. Without even consciously thinking about it, I grabbed the button on his jeans as he did mine, and we fought to free ourselves from our pesky clothes. He pulled my underwear down impatiently, frowning when my jeans got stuck on my ankles, till finally we lay naked on the grass.

I climbed onto him again, careful not to knock the hard flesh between his legs with my knees. I held onto his shoulders as I lowered myself, coating the head of his cock with my wetness before gently easing down.

He let me take my time; I still needed to go slowly at first to get used to him as he was so big. I bit my lip and closed my eyes as he filled me up, inch by inch. His fingers came up to his shoulders and interlaced with mine, both of us letting out low whines of pleasure.

Once we were flush, I bent down, needing to feel his lips, and to give my body time to adjust. His kisses were impossibly tender as he stretched our joined arms out above our heads, moving our hips just slightly to give him the friction he craved. After a minute or so, I felt relaxed enough to slowly begin rising and pushing down, resting one hand on his stomach and reaching the other behind to play with his balls. He mumbled a string of curses, and reached up, palming my tits before finding my clit with his fingertips and starting to rub. I struggled to concentrate as my body hummed with pleasure. In fact, I barely heard his whispered "I love you" as he came, unable to hold back as I grazed his chest with my fingernails. I followed as his cock softened inside me, griding my body onto his and gripping his thighs, opening my connection through my palms as I throbbed and shook. I needed him to know what he did to me... how good he made me feel... how much I was his, utterly his...

We lay, completely sated, for a while on the grass, smiling goofily at each other. My fingers played with his hair, wet from the perpetual Pacific mist and his own sweat, as his hands stroked my bare back and shoulders. I felt like purring with every touch.

Eventually, though, the cool of the early evening and the sweat on my body made me shiver involuntarily. He leaned in and kissed my temple.  
"Let's get you in the shower, Ness."  
"Only if you come with me." I whined, burying my face into his chest. I felt it rumble beneath me with laughter.  
"Duh."  
Jake got up and offered me his hand, helping me up. I stood, and he drew me close, winding an arm around my waist and planting a kiss on the top of my head. We hurried into our little house.

The end.


End file.
